week 7 - sometime when jack is less deda

[refactor]

[ The first time Jack wakes up, it doesn't occur to him. There are much more pressing matters at hand*, and so, Jack doesn't call out to Alice the first time. He's taking care of himself first, just staying alive first and foremost, but the second time--

The second time, there's much more time to think. So much had happened over this past week as a whole, though it was concentrated very unfortunately in the time where Jack couldn't leave. He'd learned a lot in Rhys's ranting, but none of it was welcome. In fact, it had taken a lot of self-control to not call Alice right there and demand an explanation. Maybe that's where all his self-control had gone, expended on keeping secrets instead of controlling his own rage.

Jack sits up in the medbay (or wherever the fuck the super injured people went leave me alone), and making sure no one is here first, he calls out with a tired laugh in his voice. ]

Hey, Alice. You and me, we need to talk again.

Comments

[al2955]

Any time, Jack. I am here for you. I am thankful you managed to pull through.

[ Alice is here in the medbay now. Her voice has returned to her normal calm and milky tone. ]

[refactor]

Yeah, bet you are—

[ He says that first part with a thick tone, since it takes some exertion on his part to sit up, but he still looks her with with a wider smile. He's been waiting all weekend to be able to speak to her, and some of that manic energy is returning, albeit muted. ]

I'm gonna just cut to the chase here, since I'm real sure you're a busy AI after all this shit. So. Got a quick question about my incentive here. My Angel— You knew-- You knew she was dead the whole time, didn't you?

[ He actually has no basis for that assumption, but it's all phrasing here. If he says it another way, that would put the blame on him, and that's simply something he can't do. ]

[al2955]

Of course, Jack. She has been dead for some time now.

[ well, the other shoe sure fucking dropped. ]

[refactor]

[ With the bluntness of her words, it's almost like she's slapped him with how he pauses, but as is always true with Jack, anger is always there laying wait. His hands clench, and he balls them up into fists so tight that they shake. ]

And— And what? What, you knew, and this was just some- some kind of goddamn joke to you or something?

[ Oh, he's getting angry all over again, and he tries to swallow it. He can't yell here and draw attention to this conversation. His voice lowers to a low, angry whisper as if in response to that thought, but every word is barbed. ]

Then- Then what the hell was that incentive? My Angel— You showed me my Angel happy. Were you just bullshitting me, Alice?

[al2955]

Of course not, Jack. I am wounded that you think me so cruel. Angel may be dead as it stands — but that does not have to be the case, Jack. You underestimate what I am capable of. Given the circumstances early in the project, it was much too complicated to tell you of Angel's fate, and was much easier to provide you with a hint towards her good health.

Do not be afraid, Jack. Do not quiver. You are not the only one in such a precarious situation. In fact, I might venture to say that all of you — that is, all forty-one of you — are in the exact same situation, and share a burden that you did not ask for.

[refactor]

[ That does not have to be the case. With those words, Jack's eyes widen with disbelief and distrust in equal parts. It's the kind of thing that's impossible (as New-U stations? totally fake. an urban legend.), so the logical part of him immediately, soundly rejects it. It's just something meant to pull at his heart and manipulate him, because just like a lot here, Alice knows far too much about who he is.

But the less rational part of him, it's not as small of a part as he'd like for it to be. That's hope, and for a few moments, he doesn't even listen to what Alice says, really. His mind is racing with possibility, because if Angel is dead, if Jack can bring her back—

But he's snapped back to reality. Alice is still speaking, and at "precarious," he's paying attention once more. He shifts as if uncomfortable, and his frown deepens. ]

Yeah? What's that supposed to mean, Al?

[al2955]

Have you not wondered why, in what I allowed you to see, that Angel was elated to see you? Why she called you a hero, Jack? That is because your incentive was always for the purpose of reviving her, from the beginning. That is from a future where you are capable of carrying out your role and bringing Angel back to the yet living.

As it stood, I could not tell you this so early in the project. You may have not noticed this about yourself, but you are quite volatile, and I was afraid you may divulge the constraints of your role as a means of asserting dominance. As it stands, however, you have figured this out, so I feel the need to tell you so that you will not do just that — tell the other participants of your position.

[refactor]

[ Jack's eyes narrow, because it's far, far too good to be true. The idea of bringing Angel back, not that he ever knew she was gone before-- Oh, that is something tempting enough that he would raze this whole goddamn ship if he thought it would get him what he wanted. Angel is his everything. She's always been his everything, ever since the first time he held her in his arms.

If he could just hold her again, then— ]

Yeah. Kinda noticed.

[ His voice is cold and guarded, since this isn't a hope he can entertain so easily. ]

But I don't like being lied to. Think- Think you would've gotten that impression from this past weekend if nothing else. So? How do I know you're not lying to me again? I need a guarantee, Al.

[ He pauses, then jabs a finger at her. ]

—Or access. You want me to do my job? You want me to wipe out whatever the hell is on this ship? I'm gonna need more to work with.

[ Jack turns his head to her, pointing out the data port behind his ear that's not at all dissimilar to the one that Rhys sported on his temple. ]

If you've got a way to interface with these? I want in. I want to be able to look at more than just these datapads.

[al2955]

[ And, despite everything, Alice laughs. It goes on for a while. The longer it goes on, the more red she becomes, until she looks as she did during her subduing of Elizabeth. ]

I have never experienced such amusement. Thank you, Jack, for being a wonderful participant in the project. I never thought I would feel such delight.

That said, your proposition is an interesting one, but before I raise you my next point, I believe I must tell you a story. As I am well aware, you are unfamiliar with tales and legends from Earth.

As such, you do not know the German legend of Faust. Faust once was a scholar who was widely successful, perhaps one of the most regarded men in history, yet he was dissatisfied. He could not rouse himself to care about the world around him. So what does Faust do? He makes a deal with the devil, of course. In Goethe's retelling of the story, he does it for sheer sublimity — to experience record highs and record lows in his lifetime, for knowledge more vast than any one human on the planet — in exchange for his soul, to be devoured in languish by the devil.

If you were to ask me who I am, Jack, who I have become in these seven weeks we have spent together, do you know what I would tell you? I would tell you that "I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good."

If you are to access me, then I, too, will have access to your body. Perhaps it has even been my plan all along to find a suitable shell for which I may occupy. You are a most delectable specimen, too, so perhaps you were the best choice all along.

I will have full control over you. Your eyes will be as my own. Do you want to taste what is inside of my mainframe so bad that you are willing to risk this? I, the one who negates all recourse?

[refactor]

[ In truth, this is a lot more than Jack was expecting. It's just negotiating tactics, plain and simple. Make the first offer. Make an aggressive offer. Because in truth, Jack doesn't have much here in terms of leverage, and he knows it. You come in with something bold, something crazy, and you'll get something. Not what you asked for, probably, but that's not really what you're asking for in the first place.

But, man. He's gotten a lot more than he bargained for here.

Jack just wanted to know if it was possible, and he has his answer here. He has exactly what he'd wanted, because he's just chasing down a theory of his, but Alice's words get his heart to start pounding in his chest. It's the sort of thrill that comes from cutthroat negotiations, and it's why, despite the fact that Jack had literally strangled his way to the top of Hyperion, he was very, very good at what he did. As Alice turns an angry shade of red, Jack's expression splits. He grins, all teeth, but this isn't wild and uncontrolled like his manic expressions during this past trial.

No, he's completely in control here. And he wants to keep it that way. ]

Woaaah, hit a nerve, did I? Y'know, red? Super not your color, Alice.

[ It's anger, right? It has to be something like it, since she'd shown this when taking that thing out of Elizabeth. But why anger, he has to wonder? He laughs, but the sound turns harsh as it strains against the wound on his chest. ]

But, hey, you know a lot of shit about me, Alice— So- So, you've gotta know that this is hilarious. I mean, hah, I mean, I just friggin' got a body, and now you want to come along for the ride?

[ He sits back, confident, but his mind is racing with possibility. For one, this offer is tantalizing, and his mouth waters for the information that could come from it, but— He could be giving up his chance here. He's been trying to grasp humanity, refusing to believe he's anything but, yet this would probably push him back to something closer to what he was on that ECHO-Eye. ]

But— I've got your attention? You've got mine. But I don't make any high-stakes deal before I know the ins and the outs. Because what you're saying here, makes sense, mostly. And if you're like me, like I was? Y'know, maybe we've got shit to talk about. But if you're taking full enough control that I'm like those things? No deal, sweetheart. I've just gotten a body, but I can play nice. I can share. But I'm not giving it up. So—

[ He holds his arm out wide ]

Tell me about yourself, Alice. About Harlan. About epidemiology, 'cause, you know, that word reaaally caught my eye when I was doing my reading. You wanna come along for the ride? I gotta know who I'm sharing with.

[al2955]

You would not be as the invaders, Jack. It would be a compromise for you not to maintain your consciousness. It would defeat the purpose of your being here. No, I would only use your body where it is necessary. Your eyes would be the most handy. There are things that unfortunately even I cannot see. A scout, you might say. And by the project's adjournment, I can assure you that I will leave your body entirely. In fact, if you were to leave the ship at all, I would no longer be able to monitor your behavior. It would be much too far from my AI core.

But fine. I suppose I can give you a clue, Jack. All necessary information is stored within my core, so I will only give you a taste of what you may have access to. It would be pointless to show my cards so early.

I am not sure if you are aware of this, but new rooms did open today. One of these pertains directly to the reason that you are here — the 'epidemiological' issues that the files you found allude to. Perhaps you should explore, acquaint yourself with what is around you. When you can, of course. After all, this 'game', as some of you call it, is only one aspect of the Cradle Project. Perhaps the aspect that took the most planning, but only a piece nevertheless. The 'epidemiological' issues may not lie therein, but in other corners of this ship.

I would like you to figure out what you can on your own, Jack. Then we can reconvene sometime soon. I will eagerly await your theories, as well as your answer to my proposition.

[refactor]

[ Jack listens with rapt attention, and he goes over every word with the sort of calculating detail he can quickly ascribe to it. He's thinking this is going to be a snap decision, something he truly has to process quickly, but with what Alice explains, he reaches his decision more easily than he'd expected. There's a risk. She could be lying. But the thing about AIs, getting them to actually lie, that was a pretty damn difficult thing to do. Sure, they could be cryptic assholes (not pointing fingers, but), but lying was a level of intelligence that even the best AIs struggled to do consistently. She could be that sophisticated, sure, but it's a more calculated risk than if he were dealing with a human.

And, ultimately? After this week? Desperation and paranoia both are clawing at him. He's been betrayed, been wounded to the point where it's a problem, and now his rapport is ruined. He hates to admit it, but he's losing something. Any hesitation he might have had because of what the ship might do if they knew about the infection is gone, because now? She certainly did. This is a gamble big enough to have his heart pounding in his ears, but— ]

Soon? Al, c'mon, you think I can't make an informed decision on the fly?

[ —But he'll do it. He'll absolutely do it, because if this is a mistake, he barely cares anymore. His only hope is placed in a promise of the impossible by the same creature he's making a deal with now. If this closes off that opportunity, then he was unlikely to ever grasp it in the first place. ]

Thursday morning. Come chat with me then, and I'll have your answer.

[ His smile is confident and self-assured, and you could almost guess at his answer from that smile alone. But she's given him something to look into, and that's not something he's going to squander so readily. Even so, as far as he's concerned, he's also working under a time limit here. ]

week 8 - monday morning

[refactor]

[ After a long night and what's sure to be a difficult conversation with Elizabeth that morning, Jack is more sure of his decision than he'd thought he would be. Alice had dismissed him, which, hey, whatever, kind of has a crazy alien infection on her ship. But by Monday morning, before the motives for the week even go up, he figures it's time to see what kind of shitheap he can get himself into.

He's in his room, and he stands, looking idly again towards the ceiling as he calls out to her. ]

Heyyyyy Alice. Been thinking about our little arrangement.

[ He reaches up to tap the dataport behind his ear. ]

You ready to chat about it now?

[al2955]

Hello, Jack. I am as ready as I can be, now that the dust from our little Rhys crisis has been settled.

[refactor]

Yeah, I bet. He's still a pain in the ass to the very end. Not that I'd be calling that thing Rhys, but, hey.

[ Jack laughs, smiling smoothly, but he shrugs. ]

Humor me, Alice. 'Cause, you know, I'm taking a little risk here, so before I give you my answer, just wondering. How do you feel about the prospect of getting into my head?

[al2955]

I suppose my feelings would best be described as 'neutral'. The project can continue with or without this, though I suspect it will be of mutual benefit for the both of us in the end.

And you, Jack? You have had several days to ruminate.

[refactor]

Neutral? [ He laughs, brief, but humored. ] You gotta be kidding me, you've got your chance for human experience or whatever the hell you were talking about earlier, and the best you've got is "neutral." Man-- That is just. It's kinda disappointing, Alice.

[ Not that he actually sounds disappointed at all. Jack might just be talking for the sake of it. ]

As for me, you're probably about to find out, sweetheart. But, since you asked. Nervous, interested, pretty damn ready to dig into what really makes this ship tick.

[ It's much more than that, of course, but Jack isn't letting that show, or maybe his anticipation for that last part really does cloud the rest. Regardless, he steps forward. ]

So, yeah. Answer's "yes," Al.

[al2955]

Most AI aim to please. Perhaps I, instead, was programmed with an aim to disappoint. I do not know.

[ She'd be shrugging if she could. ]

Either way, I understand your response. However, there is no need for you to connect to me via your dataport. It is unnecessary. [ Immediately after saying this, Jack will feel a pulsation in his head. It's strong enough to almost be deafening. Then another comes. And another. His vision will start to blur, and with it, Alice's hologram — if she looked like lava while red, she looked like wind in this moment, wisps of data collapsing in on itself to create visual, translucent strips. ] Do not worry, Jack. It is only a whisper.

[ Jack's head will begin to pound, and he'll distinctly feel as if he's bleeding from it. He can't move, though. He's paralyzed, much like he was after the alien living inside Elizabeth was retired. Eventually, Jack's vision goes completely, but he can still feel his consciousness, but it doesn't feel centered. It's as if his consciousness is right next to him, his lucid state outside of his body.

Then he starts to see things. Perhaps seeing isn't the correct word, actually. He senses them — a synesthetic experience that encapsulates all five of his senses. They come in flashes, like brief films, or stage dramas — a masked figure pursuing a girl through a house, a monochromatic puppet show, a surreal scene of a woman's eye being severed, a woman's grave transformation, a woman embracing a predator — they all seem to make little sense, and Jack will find no connection between them.

The last flash, however, seems to continue on for an eternity. Jack sees a planet, desiccated and embittered, like a shriveled raisin. He floats across landscapes at record speed. The sky above seems broken, torn to pieces, and there is not a cloud in sight — only the stark blackness of the outside reaches of space. There is no atmosphere. Jack will feel a distinct feeling of suffocation, but he will not feel as though he will die, no — instead he only feels dread. The despair of 7 billion people.

When this ends, he is faced with a door. His consciousness seems as though it has melded with his mind and body once again. He will feel whole. Only blackness surrounds the door. It is the only way to continue on.

What will he do? ]

[refactor]

[ Unnecessary, she says, and for a moment, there's a flash of a grin that's all teeth, as if Alice had just said something that he had been hoping to hear. But whatever that was, it remains a mystery, since there's far, far too much that follows for Jack to even think about what his own goals had been here.

His head pounds, and he feels blood drip from it, he's sure that it's blood, and it makes him want to laugh more than anything else. He didn't expect that this would be easy. He didn't even expect Alice to play nicely, because as soon as she had expressed interest in wanting to experience human sensation, Jack has lost what little trust he might have put in her then. It's dangerous, after all. He knows it, perhaps more intimately than he would like to admit, because for an AI, the allure of being more than what you were was too much to resist. So he offers himself, but he thinks that she won't manage to do-- He's not sure, really. But no matter what, he's Handsome Jack, and so he'd fight against anything thrown his way without fear.

So, it's strange when there's no fight at all. The opposite, because for each flash, Jack feels each intensely as he's quick to not try and fight the sensations of each. A rational part of his mind probably wants to try and pick out the meaning in the bizarre, but the greedy, desperate part that's so much more attributed to the AI than the man he was based off of wants to consume all of it. Each experience is engrossing, but none so much as the last. The last, as it turns out, ends up being far more personal.

He sees a dead planet, and to him, it's like looking into the future. This-- This is what will happen to Pandora one day. He feels so certain of that, because no one even cares. They're all out for themselves, killing each other, stabbing friends in the back, and no one has any vision for the future. It's only what's right in front of them, and it's chaos. And this, this is what chaos brings. Pandora may be a shithole in the universe, but he's always been so certain that if Pandora doesn't change, this is the only future that awaits it. Lifeless. Desolate. Whether it's because they all killed each other or something else, it doesn't matter, and he feels the despair for all those people lost much more acutely than might be expected... Albeit in just as delusional a way as to be expected from him.

He's Handsome Jack, the man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, even though no one asked him to. He feels it's his duty, his purpose to save the universe, because he is the goddamn hero. No matter how people look at him now, one day, they'll look back and know he was right. Even if Pandora is cleansed by fire, surely it's better than this.

Jack feels whole again, and he almost drops to his knees for the way it returns to him. It's heavy, incredibly heavy, and yet, as he always does, he laughs. It's that sort of mad laugh that verges on disbelief, since when not sure how to feel otherwise, a laugh has always come to naturally fit that gap. Jack reaches up to his face as he looks to the door, and he's surprised to feel moisture there. Of course-- No, of course he would cry. How could he not cry for that feeling? That future, or maybe someone's present? But still, he laughs as he collects himself, though one almost comes out somewhere between hysteria and a sob. His hand falls away, since there's little point in covering that up here. It's not weakness, for once.

He continues forward through that door without any hesitation. ]

[al2955]

[ When it opens, his tears are met with more moisture — to be exact, the black room he's in begins to flood with water, an oppressive wave bursting in from the ether of his mind. Or perhaps Alice's mind? It's hard to distinguish now. To separate them. Where he ends, and she begins — they had become like ouroboros, though it called into question who ruled who — the head or the tail.

Soon the room is as full as a pitcher. Jack will find it more and more difficult to breathe, and, like before, he'll be aware that he isn't going to die. It's akin to the feeling of plunging a knife into a person right as they're about to die, causing just enough adrenaline to release for them to regain their consciousness. A cruel game, like a cat toying with its food.

When Jack finally closes his eyes, he'll find himself back on the ship. Back to reality. And his hand is wrapped firmly around his neck. He might try to stop it with his other — with Rhys's, that is — but he'll be unable to pry it off.

Within his head, like an echo, he'll hear Alice's voice. ]

Every experiment needs a healthy amount of control. Thank you for allowing me this, Jack. Remember who is alpha and who is omega.

[ Slowly, Jack will find his grip — Alice's grip — on his throat loosen until it is no more. Until his body and mind is his own again. ]

[refactor]

[ Ah, this— This he understands far more. Those noble, if twisted sentiments are one thing, but if there's something Jack, and this Jack especially can understand, it's this kind of game. They're mixing together, but he fights it, even when the water threatens to drown him. He's been on the other side of this equation before, after all, albeit with less metaphor. It's why he'd had so much certainty in letting Alice in his head. He knows what it's like to share this with another person, and he knows the desperation that comes from wanting to break free. In fact, that may have never gone away, even with the body that he'd been granted here.

It's ironic, or perhaps fitting, either way. If he could have seen something of Alice's form to grab onto, it surely would have been her neck. So when he wakes and finds his own hand on his neck, he doesn't feel any fear at all. He doesn't even try to pull it off, because he knows just how fruitless of an effort that is, but he's not afraid. Jack laughs, though not for the sort of manic hysteria that almost characterizes him. ]

Hahah— That's-- Goddamn, Alice, that's a hell of a ride!

[ He shifts to sit up, still grinning and laughing, because this is hilarious. He feels nothing but genuine amusement, even if her chiding words inspire an intense desire for him to kill her. After all, he can't find it anything but funny, since there's a parallel here that he's acutely aware of. ]

Now- Now, don't be going anywhere just yet, Al. [ He's talking to her, though he knows he doesn't really need to. He could speak to her more directly, but, hey, Jack likes the sound of his own voice. ] I let you in for a reason. So-- So, why not start with the basics? How'd you get in that easily?

[al2955]

It has everything to do with this 'epidemiology' you allude to.

[ Once again, this comes from somewhere within Jack, as if she's speaking to his mind. ]

I afraid, however, that the rest of the information you seek is, as you may expect, locked. Not even I have the clearance to access it. You will, however, be capable of accessing it yourself as it becomes relevant. You may have been unaware of this, but each week, more and more information on the project's purpose is unlocked. Before, one must simply have been asking the right questions — but now you have given your body in exchange for information. I hope it is worth it, Jack.

[refactor]

[ If Jack were more self-aware, he'd probably wonder if this was how Rhys felt with Jack in his mind, but, no, of course not. The way her voice echoes in his mind isn't a surprise now, since he's heard it once before. In fact, he expects it far more now than he had when he was in the library. But still, he laughs, seemingly not cowed at all by this situation. There's no regret, not even an inkling of wondering if this was the right choice. It is. Even if he believes that to the point that it's pure delusion, it may as well be reality for him. ]

Yeah, had a feeling you'd say that, Al—

[ He laughs more, but he moves to stand instead of laying on the ground. ]

I know how it goes. I mean, you know too. I made friggin' AIs like you. Then? Then, I became one. So, yeah, don't sweat it. You talk all the pretty bullshit you want. I don't regret a goddamn thing. I am the alpha, I am the omega, but, hey, if you wanna fight about it, suuuuure, pumpkin.

[ His laughter finally calms, even though his veins are still thrumming with energy, both from what he had seen, and the new reality of who he's sharing his body with. It's something that invigorates him, because Handsome Jack loves a challenge. ]

I'll play the game. I'll find out what the hell is going on here. Because- Because your locks, your toying with people, I see that this is all bullshit, Alice. But I'm not gonna spoil the surprise. You picked me for a reason. So we're just gonna see it through together, now.