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sector manager HANDSOME JACK

✉ ☏ 📷

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[ ...then immediately after that: ]

wait

that better not be MY booze. I hid it from you??? how the hell would you even find it???

[kirkwalled]

hahahahahahahahanahaahahaahaahahahahahahaahahajaahaaajahahaahahahaahahahaahahaha

[ also he probably hears her literally losing her shit in the living room ]

[refactor]

[ See, and he would be content to just continue textual shitposting, but no!! Then Hawke has to go and actually laugh at him where he can hear it!! He half kicks the door of his bedroom open, but that's just Jack being... himself instead of actually being angry to the point of being dangerous. After all, he's quickly walking over and stumbling over his words in the way that shows he's flustered and mad all at once. ]

Aw- Wha- What the hell, you're such an asshole! I hid that for a reason, you dick!!

[ because hawke was going to drink it all ]

[kirkwalled]

[ She is literally just lying on the couch here and there's already at least one empty bottle off to the side. Then there's a half-empty one in one hand and her phone in the other. She waves at Jack's arrival. ]

Yes, because good booze is so hard to come by with a man of your paycheck.

[ She's a happy camper, she is. ]

[refactor]

Yeah! It is! My paycheck may be amazing, but goddammit, I don't spend it on booze!! That was for a special occasion!

[ Which is probably a lie. Jack probably does drink it casually, but he's just playing it up because he really did hide it from Hawke and it really isn't cheap. He likes to drink expensive drinks and pretend he's more rich than he is. So sue him. Or sue Hawke, since he's walking over to snatch the half-empty bottle out of her hand. ]

You're— You're like a friggin' toddler! I can't leave you alone in my own goddamn house!

[kirkwalled]

[ Time to feign hurt as he snatches the bottle away and also take advantage of the soft spot she knows Jack has for her! Things she isn't aware of: that soft spot is his crush.

So, she just grabs at his shirt when he tries to walk off with it and looks at him with a pout. ]

Come on, Jack. Aren't I special occasion enough? When else do you have a beautiful woman gracing your home? You're like, a eunuch!

[ She really has to find him a date, huh. ]

And it's not like I took any -- [ Hiccup. Oh no. ] Anything else!

[refactor]

[ Hawke, you are playing a dangerous game here. This is how churches get blown up. Because when Hawke grabs his shirt, Jack does stop and look down at her. He tenses up, and his expression twists up into a disapproving frown. He starts to open his mouth to make some kind of smart comment about the beautiful woman part, but it turns into an exagerrated and exasperated groan instead. ]

Stop calling me a eunuch. Cripes, Hawke, you— God, you're thick.

[ Part of him probably knows that she is just completely missing all of his advances, but he's sure that one day, he'll get the girl. That's how a hero's story goes. But before he can indulge in that nice thought, the rest of what she says dawns on him. ]

Wait- Yeah, no you didn't? You better not have? [ hawke ] Stop friggin' selling my shit at pawn shops!

[kirkwalled]

[ One day, Hawke's finally going to get bitten by the tiger she keeps messing with but today is not that day! She notices the tension because even with an alcohol content this high, her instincts are keyed up too much not to, but she doesn't think much of it because it's... Jack. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?

At his exasperation though, she smiles stupidly because his frustration is more amusing than anything else. It even widens as he yells at her for selling his things and she can't help but burst into laughter. The real loud and ridiculous, can't breathe for anything type laughter at that. ]

I'm not -- I haven't! Not for a while!

[ But it's said between peals of laughter as she holds her stomach and absolutely loses her shit on the couch here. The combination of text conversation and Jack's offense is just too funny to have her keep a straight face any longer. Don't mind her as she buries her face in the couch because she's laughing so hard. ]

week nine / end of chap 4

[kirkwalled]

[ A gift! Because Hawke is a moron who buys her friends gifts way more often than not. A small box sits outside Jack's door when he gets home that evening with a note stuck to it and in a quick, vaguely familiar scrawl is Jack.

Inside the box is a very nice yellow sweater, obviously Leithian of make. Very expensive, hand knit, bright yellow and super soft. It's also exactly Jack's size and obviously, well, meant for him.

And that's it! Because Hawke rather drop the gift off and bail like it's no big deal than ever, say, acknowledge the whole thing. ]

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Oh ha ha hah, I'm sure it's super hilarious to you, but you're not the one friggin' makin' that stuff! That's— It's not cheap!

[ It's about the best defense he can muster, since truth be told, he knows he can't be that mad about it. Because of Hawke's proclivity to take things that aren't hers and sell them, it had gotten Jack a little cash on the side, so he knows he can't complain too much. But he will anyways, because even without that, sometimes she sells things he likes. His tinkering is basically only a hobby, but sometimes he makes good shit!

He definitely doesn't return the bottle, though. Instead, Jack heads over to a shelf nearby to place it back where it belongs. Hiding it clearly wasn't going to do any good, so he was just going to have to hope she was too drunk to go get it again. ]

You realize you're gonna sell something important one day, right? Something that's totally going to screw me? Sure it's no problem for Killjoys with their convenient lack of ties, but y'know, Company doesn't really like side work.

[refactor]

[ It's actually quite a while before Hawke gets any sort of acknowledgement of the gift from Jack. It's not because he doesn't want to, but actually, quite the opposite, since if he's completely honest with himself (which he isn't), it's been a while since he's gotten a gift from someone. Or at least, one without ulterior motives. That's part of what takes him so long. He has to double and triple check the sweater, because even if he likes Hawke and trusts her to some degree, there's always a lingering what if in his mind. He'd been betrayed by Killjoys he'd made the mistake of thinking were his friends before. He didn't want to do it again.

But after that suspicion had passed, there was another problem to deal with, and that was decoding what exactly it meant. Considering his affection for her, his mind had immediately leaped to a certain conclusion, but that was confusing in itself. It couldn't be that, because for everything he had seen, Hawke... didn't really seem to get it. God, he wishes she did, because he definitely liked her enough to—

Well, to ask for clarification, as it turned out. Even if it takes a few days for him to work up to that. ]

so uh any reason for the sweater or what

[kirkwalled]

[ See, with her other gifts, Hawke is happy to drop them and leave them without comment. That was the plan with Jack's sweater but when she gets his text, she reconsiders. She knows Bucky won't question it and Fenris isn't in the place to but Jack -- Jack might misunderstand the spirit of the whole thing. A gift is just a gift, but Jack's on the defensive enough to doubt it. They're friends and he'd consider him one of her closest in the Quad, so she doesn't purposefully want to hurt him by skirting it off. Still, there's a bit of discomfort in being honest about it, the sincerity of her affection.

So, she stares at his message for a good long while before sighing, scrubbing her hands over her face and shooting a message back. ]

Would you like a real answer or a fake one?

[ It says something that Jack's the only one that Hawke would actually give the offer to. ]

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the real one

...but now you have me curious so what was the fake one going to be? just give me both I'm sure you have a weird story for both anyways

[kirkwalled]

I'm not telling you the fake one because what if I want to reuse the answer at a later date? No, you won't be learning all my tricks, Jackie boy.

The real one is that I noticed you haven't been wearing your Hyperion sweater a lot lately and I gather it's because of that unfortunate coincidence with our resident gang of ne'er-do-wells. But you look good in yellow and it's strange to see otherwise so I thought you might want a replacement. I also wanted to do something nice for you. Satisfied? I'm not out to get you today, no.

[refactor]

[ It takes Jack a little longer than he usually does to reply, because in truth, he's quite flustered by this information. It's much more thoughtful than he expected, and that's the kind of thing that gets him caught up in his own head. It's a very kind gift, and in turn, he has to wonder if that means maybe Hawke really was interested. Or maybe she really is that thick? It's a hard question to parse through, because he does like Hawke a lot. He doesn't want to be wrong about what she's feeling and make their friendship awkward, because even if he tends to be brutish straightforward with most things, his personal relationships are something he's quite a bit softer with even if he pretends otherwise.

Because of how long he thinks over it, it ends up making his response pretty simple. ]

no that's actually really nice of you. didn't expect it.

you really think I look good in yellow?

[kirkwalled]

[ And then there is Hawke who is genuinely completely and utterly blind to Jack's feelings because well -- why would Jack have feelings for her? That's silly. She mostly assumes no one could possibly have feelings for her since she spends a lot of time keeping her distance from most people. Even Jack, despite the fact he could arguably be her best friend in the Quad -- it's not the same for Hawke as it used to be.

So, the delay in his response doesn't ruffle her and she approaches her own reply with the same laissez faire she approaches everything else. ]

I'm a nice person, you asswipe.

And yes, I do. You're very pretty in yellow. Very pretty in general, really. I actually find you quite handsome even without your shitty nickname. Why would I be friends with an ugly person? Sometimes I dream about making out with them and that's just punishing myself, honestly. Granted, I also have dreams about most of my friends killing me or sometimes both but I suppose the same rule applies.

[refactor]

[ HAWKE!!!! ]

wait wait wait so you're telling me that you've dream about making out with me? and I guess me killing you but that part is kinda fair. ish. full disclaimer I've dreamed about you killing you but also you killing me so I can't judge on that one

[ and also... making out with her... but ssh ]

I better be a good kisser in your dreams because let me just tell you I am AMAZING at it

[kirkwalled]

[ Somewhere, Hawke is just mindlessly texting Jack and watching like, two hobos fight or something. She's not really doing anything important with her life, is she? ]

That's fair. I could kill most people I know quite easily.

... That's probably why I have those dreams, huh? The more you know, I suppose.

Also, you're alright? I guess? Vague dream kissing or whatever. It's not like James or whoever, I haven't actually kissed you so no experience to go off. Maker, this is a stupid conversation. Why do all our conversations turn out so stupid?

[refactor]

yyyeah probably? like you don't dream about killing people unless you're super good at it

ugh don't like halfway diss my skills and then tell me about some other dude what the hell

actually wait james

super common name but I know a james. james who

[ RIVALRY +15 FUCK OFF BUCKY!!!!!!! ]

[kirkwalled]

Gotta say, tired of killing my friends a little.

[ Hawke, you don't just say shit like that out of nowhere and don't explain. ]

Jack, we're talking about dream kissing. Stop being a baby. I'm sure I'm not a very good kisser in your dreams either.

[ Because she's assuming they dream made out -- this conversation has truly gone off the rails. ]

James Barnes? Pouty lips, should get a haircut, faaaantastic abs and excellent stamina. Oh, and a metal arm? For some reason? I never asked and don't care. He's a Killjoy too. I suppose you could call him my partner since we do a lot of our warrants together.

[refactor]

[ ok killing your friends is all well and good, but. there's something more important here. ]

you never told me you had a partner

is he your partner or your PARTNER

[kirkwalled]

[ Oh, god damnit. ]

"Hey, Jack, this is a pretty weird conversation" "ARE YOU DATING JAMES" Thanks, Jack.

For the record, we're just Killjoy partners. Sometimes we have sex when we're bored and there's nothing else to do. I have a fairly healthy libido and never been subtle about this fact, you stupid moron.

Are we dating? No. Neither of us are interested in that. Am I dating anyone? Would I date anyone? No, for reasons that are PERSONAL and MINE.

Now, if you're done asking questions that are none of your business, let's go back to something normal. I mean, I get nosy and overprotective friends, Jack, but also? Fuck off.

[refactor]

oh screw you it's a fair question to ask when you're talking about working with him making out with him and now banging him. like okay maybe tmi sure but it's not weird or unwarranted jackass

I was just asking because that's kind of a big deal

[kirkwalled]

It's not a fair question because you're just being nosy.

And how in the world is it a big deal? Truly, enlighten me.

[refactor]

ugh

because you've never called anyone your PARTNER before

like yeah sure know you've uh got a healthy libido but that's different