[ It's actually quite a while before Hawke gets any sort of acknowledgement of the gift from Jack. It's not because he doesn't want to, but actually, quite the opposite, since if he's completely honest with himself (which he isn't), it's been a while since he's gotten a gift from someone. Or at least, one without ulterior motives. That's part of what takes him so long. He has to double and triple check the sweater, because even if he likes Hawke and trusts her to some degree, there's always a lingering what if in his mind. He'd been betrayed by Killjoys he'd made the mistake of thinking were his friends before. He didn't want to do it again.
But after that suspicion had passed, there was another problem to deal with, and that was decoding what exactly it meant. Considering his affection for her, his mind had immediately leaped to a certain conclusion, but that was confusing in itself. It couldn't be that, because for everything he had seen, Hawke... didn't really seem to get it. God, he wishes she did, because he definitely liked her enough to—
Well, to ask for clarification, as it turned out. Even if it takes a few days for him to work up to that. ]
[ See, with her other gifts, Hawke is happy to drop them and leave them without comment. That was the plan with Jack's sweater but when she gets his text, she reconsiders. She knows Bucky won't question it and Fenris isn't in the place to but Jack -- Jack might misunderstand the spirit of the whole thing. A gift is just a gift, but Jack's on the defensive enough to doubt it. They're friends and he'd consider him one of her closest in the Quad, so she doesn't purposefully want to hurt him by skirting it off. Still, there's a bit of discomfort in being honest about it, the sincerity of her affection.
So, she stares at his message for a good long while before sighing, scrubbing her hands over her face and shooting a message back. ]
Would you like a real answer or a fake one?
[ It says something that Jack's the only one that Hawke would actually give the offer to. ]
I'm not telling you the fake one because what if I want to reuse the answer at a later date? No, you won't be learning all my tricks, Jackie boy.
The real one is that I noticed you haven't been wearing your Hyperion sweater a lot lately and I gather it's because of that unfortunate coincidence with our resident gang of ne'er-do-wells. But you look good in yellow and it's strange to see otherwise so I thought you might want a replacement. I also wanted to do something nice for you. Satisfied? I'm not out to get you today, no.
[ It takes Jack a little longer than he usually does to reply, because in truth, he's quite flustered by this information. It's much more thoughtful than he expected, and that's the kind of thing that gets him caught up in his own head. It's a very kind gift, and in turn, he has to wonder if that means maybe Hawke really was interested. Or maybe she really is that thick? It's a hard question to parse through, because he does like Hawke a lot. He doesn't want to be wrong about what she's feeling and make their friendship awkward, because even if he tends to be brutish straightforward with most things, his personal relationships are something he's quite a bit softer with even if he pretends otherwise.
Because of how long he thinks over it, it ends up making his response pretty simple. ]
no that's actually really nice of you. didn't expect it.
[ And then there is Hawke who is genuinely completely and utterly blind to Jack's feelings because well -- why would Jack have feelings for her? That's silly. She mostly assumes no one could possibly have feelings for her since she spends a lot of time keeping her distance from most people. Even Jack, despite the fact he could arguably be her best friend in the Quad -- it's not the same for Hawke as it used to be.
So, the delay in his response doesn't ruffle her and she approaches her own reply with the same laissez faire she approaches everything else. ]
I'm a nice person, you asswipe.
And yes, I do. You're very pretty in yellow. Very pretty in general, really. I actually find you quite handsome even without your shitty nickname. Why would I be friends with an ugly person? Sometimes I dream about making out with them and that's just punishing myself, honestly. Granted, I also have dreams about most of my friends killing me or sometimes both but I suppose the same rule applies.
wait wait wait so you're telling me that you've dream about making out with me? and I guess me killing you but that part is kinda fair. ish. full disclaimer I've dreamed about you killing you but also you killing me so I can't judge on that one
[ and also... making out with her... but ssh ]
I better be a good kisser in your dreams because let me just tell you I am AMAZING at it
[ Somewhere, Hawke is just mindlessly texting Jack and watching like, two hobos fight or something. She's not really doing anything important with her life, is she? ]
That's fair. I could kill most people I know quite easily.
... That's probably why I have those dreams, huh? The more you know, I suppose.
Also, you're alright? I guess? Vague dream kissing or whatever. It's not like James or whoever, I haven't actually kissed you so no experience to go off. Maker, this is a stupid conversation. Why do all our conversations turn out so stupid?
[ Hawke, you don't just say shit like that out of nowhere and don't explain. ]
Jack, we're talking about dream kissing. Stop being a baby. I'm sure I'm not a very good kisser in your dreams either.
[ Because she's assuming they dream made out -- this conversation has truly gone off the rails. ]
James Barnes? Pouty lips, should get a haircut, faaaantastic abs and excellent stamina. Oh, and a metal arm? For some reason? I never asked and don't care. He's a Killjoy too. I suppose you could call him my partner since we do a lot of our warrants together.
"Hey, Jack, this is a pretty weird conversation" "ARE YOU DATING JAMES" Thanks, Jack.
For the record, we're just Killjoy partners. Sometimes we have sex when we're bored and there's nothing else to do. I have a fairly healthy libido and never been subtle about this fact, you stupid moron.
Are we dating? No. Neither of us are interested in that. Am I dating anyone? Would I date anyone? No, for reasons that are PERSONAL and MINE.
Now, if you're done asking questions that are none of your business, let's go back to something normal. I mean, I get nosy and overprotective friends, Jack, but also? Fuck off.
oh screw you it's a fair question to ask when you're talking about working with him making out with him and now banging him. like okay maybe tmi sure but it's not weird or unwarranted jackass
I was just asking because that's kind of a big deal
My PARTNER who I take out WARRANTS with. Yes, we're definitely dating. Because warrants are great first dates, sure?
Spoiler alert, they're not. That's not my brand of romance.
Anyway, thanks for your concern, MOTHER, but I think I can deal with whoever I'm sleeping with quite fine. No need to spill my business everywhere. I mean, it's not as if I ask you who you're shacking up with or trying to woo, do I? I joke, but I never push you about anything!
okay first of all it doesn't sound like that bad of a date. like what's not to like about putting bad people where they you never nevermind
[ the backspace button is for quitters ]
I'm not pushing?????? I only asked for a name and if you were dating him! you ask ME way more than that. the last chick I mentioned you asked me to rate her tits "for scientific purposes". I didn't ask you to rate his dick
also now that I've put the idea in your head: don't
[ hawke: > tries to turn this conversation into something less shitty hawke, a few moments later: > tanks it into the core of the earth ]
You can be violent any time of the day, Jack! Dates are when you cuddle! That's simple logic!
And I wanted to know about her tits! I didn't want to know about her as like, a person. Or if you felt anything for those tits. I didn't think you did, actually, but if you're saying I should've asked about your feelings for those tits, I guess I will!
Suck it up, loser! His dick is alright, a 7 out of 10, I'd say. Maybe more but usually I keep those ratings for people I actually see a future with. His dick is fairly futureless.
Oh, yeah. That is a really good date! As long as it ends in the cuddling and my date partner making dinner for me too. This girl I was seeing once, she liked to cook and was an expert at cuddling. It was very attractive.
Also, you suck. You genuinely suck and I hate you. How can tits be futureless? You're terrible.
oh. yeah you've got a point that's pretty much the ideal date night. never thought about the cooking part but yeah that's a cherry on top kind of thing
[ as jack notes all of this ]
I'M terrible? you started it!! how can a dick be futureless????
[ (Jayden Smith voice) One day, Hawke will realize. ]
Then that's probably why you're single, Jack.
[ Js!! ]
Because you know you're not going to want to settle down with that dick! You're not going to want to tell that dick your hopes and dreams! Marrying that dick is totally out of the question and I don't know about you, Jack, but I would like to get married one day.
I could say the same thing about tits!! especially her tits!! she was crazy hawke like restraining order level crazy
even if her tits were great
ugh why was she crazy
[ There's slightly more of a pause before the next text. It's... awkward, because he realizes that maybe he should have told her this before, but at the same time, it's not really a point of conversation he likes to bring up. He could still easily avoid it, but that moment of awkwardness makes him decide that maybe he should be the one to bring it up. That's always something that he's liked about Hawke. She doesn't go digging into his past to find out more of who Handsome Jack is. ]
Maybe you just attract crazy women? It could be a you thing.
[ And then he throws that curveball at her and Hawke just has a very wild moment of staring at her PDD with a blank expression. What. It's actually kind of startling a feeling because even though she rarely asks him anything, she did feel very secure of her knowledge of who Jack is as a person. This is kind of a new one for her. ]
You know drive-thru chapels don't count as an actual marriage, right?
[ Were this anyone else, Jack would probably stop the conversation right here. He's sensitive, and that's not news to anyone that gets to know him, but this is something he's especially sensitive about. As such the joke gets him to bristle, since it's a bit more barbed than Hawke intends. He even knows that, but it doesn't make him any less upset (because he's a baby). ]
yeah I'll just stop you right there before you make any more jokes. she's dead
no subject
Date: 2017-03-15 02:38 am (UTC)But after that suspicion had passed, there was another problem to deal with, and that was decoding what exactly it meant. Considering his affection for her, his mind had immediately leaped to a certain conclusion, but that was confusing in itself. It couldn't be that, because for everything he had seen, Hawke... didn't really seem to get it. God, he wishes she did, because he definitely liked her enough to—
Well, to ask for clarification, as it turned out. Even if it takes a few days for him to work up to that. ]
so uh any reason for the sweater or what
no subject
Date: 2017-03-15 04:02 am (UTC)So, she stares at his message for a good long while before sighing, scrubbing her hands over her face and shooting a message back. ]
Would you like a real answer or a fake one?
[ It says something that Jack's the only one that Hawke would actually give the offer to. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-03-15 04:15 am (UTC)...but now you have me curious so what was the fake one going to be? just give me both I'm sure you have a weird story for both anyways
no subject
Date: 2017-03-23 06:37 pm (UTC)The real one is that I noticed you haven't been wearing your Hyperion sweater a lot lately and I gather it's because of that unfortunate coincidence with our resident gang of ne'er-do-wells. But you look good in yellow and it's strange to see otherwise so I thought you might want a replacement. I also wanted to do something nice for you. Satisfied? I'm not out to get you today, no.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-23 07:10 pm (UTC)Because of how long he thinks over it, it ends up making his response pretty simple. ]
no that's actually really nice of you. didn't expect it.
you really think I look good in yellow?
no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 04:58 am (UTC)So, the delay in his response doesn't ruffle her and she approaches her own reply with the same laissez faire she approaches everything else. ]
I'm a nice person, you asswipe.
And yes, I do. You're very pretty in yellow. Very pretty in general, really. I actually find you quite handsome even without your shitty nickname. Why would I be friends with an ugly person? Sometimes I dream about making out with them and that's just punishing myself, honestly. Granted, I also have dreams about most of my friends killing me or sometimes both but I suppose the same rule applies.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-30 09:35 pm (UTC)wait wait wait so you're telling me that you've dream about making out with me? and I guess me killing you but that part is kinda fair. ish. full disclaimer I've dreamed about you killing you but also you killing me so I can't judge on that one
[ and also... making out with her... but ssh ]
I better be a good kisser in your dreams because let me just tell you I am AMAZING at it
no subject
Date: 2017-03-30 09:56 pm (UTC)That's fair. I could kill most people I know quite easily.
... That's probably why I have those dreams, huh? The more you know, I suppose.
Also, you're alright? I guess? Vague dream kissing or whatever. It's not like James or whoever, I haven't actually kissed you so no experience to go off. Maker, this is a stupid conversation. Why do all our conversations turn out so stupid?
no subject
Date: 2017-03-30 10:42 pm (UTC)ugh don't like halfway diss my skills and then tell me about some other dude what the hell
actually wait james
super common name but I know a james. james who
[ RIVALRY +15 FUCK OFF BUCKY!!!!!!! ]
no subject
Date: 2017-03-30 10:51 pm (UTC)[ Hawke, you don't just say shit like that out of nowhere and don't explain. ]
Jack, we're talking about dream kissing. Stop being a baby. I'm sure I'm not a very good kisser in your dreams either.
[ Because she's assuming they dream made out -- this conversation has truly gone off the rails. ]
James Barnes? Pouty lips, should get a haircut, faaaantastic abs and excellent stamina. Oh, and a metal arm? For some reason? I never asked and don't care. He's a Killjoy too. I suppose you could call him my partner since we do a lot of our warrants together.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 04:18 pm (UTC)you never told me you had a partner
is he your partner or your PARTNER
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 05:13 pm (UTC)"Hey, Jack, this is a pretty weird conversation" "ARE YOU DATING JAMES" Thanks, Jack.
For the record, we're just Killjoy partners. Sometimes we have sex when we're bored and there's nothing else to do. I have a fairly healthy libido and never been subtle about this fact, you stupid moron.
Are we dating? No. Neither of us are interested in that. Am I dating anyone? Would I date anyone? No, for reasons that are PERSONAL and MINE.
Now, if you're done asking questions that are none of your business, let's go back to something normal. I mean, I get nosy and overprotective friends, Jack, but also? Fuck off.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 05:57 pm (UTC)I was just asking because that's kind of a big deal
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 06:07 pm (UTC)And how in the world is it a big deal? Truly, enlighten me.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 06:35 pm (UTC)because you've never called anyone your PARTNER before
like yeah sure know you've uh got a healthy libido but that's different
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 06:46 pm (UTC)Spoiler alert, they're not. That's not my brand of romance.
Anyway, thanks for your concern, MOTHER, but I think I can deal with whoever I'm sleeping with quite fine. No need to spill my business everywhere. I mean, it's not as if I ask you who you're shacking up with or trying to woo, do I? I joke, but I never push you about anything!
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 08:45 pm (UTC)like what's not to like about putting bad people where they you never nevermind
[ the backspace button is for quitters ]
I'm not pushing?????? I only asked for a name and if you were dating him! you ask ME way more than that. the last chick I mentioned you asked me to rate her tits "for scientific purposes". I didn't ask you to rate his dick
also now that I've put the idea in your head: don't
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 08:53 pm (UTC)hawke, a few moments later: > tanks it into the core of the earth ]
You can be violent any time of the day, Jack! Dates are when you cuddle! That's simple logic!
And I wanted to know about her tits! I didn't want to know about her as like, a person. Or if you felt anything for those tits. I didn't think you did, actually, but if you're saying I should've asked about your feelings for those tits, I guess I will!
Suck it up, loser! His dick is alright, a 7 out of 10, I'd say. Maybe more but usually I keep those ratings for people I actually see a future with. His dick is fairly futureless.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-04 08:59 pm (UTC)ok both of those answers are 1) hilarious 2) bad so fine. putting it in your words her tits were also futureless so that's why I didn't work out
no subject
Date: 2017-04-04 09:42 pm (UTC)Also, you suck. You genuinely suck and I hate you. How can tits be futureless? You're terrible.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-07 02:15 pm (UTC)[ as jack notes all of this ]
I'M terrible? you started it!! how can a dick be futureless????
no subject
Date: 2017-04-07 04:37 pm (UTC)Then that's probably why you're single, Jack.
[ Js!! ]
Because you know you're not going to want to settle down with that dick! You're not going to want to tell that dick your hopes and dreams! Marrying that dick is totally out of the question and I don't know about you, Jack, but I would like to get married one day.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-10 02:00 am (UTC)even if her tits were great
ugh why was she crazy
[ There's slightly more of a pause before the next text. It's... awkward, because he realizes that maybe he should have told her this before, but at the same time, it's not really a point of conversation he likes to bring up. He could still easily avoid it, but that moment of awkwardness makes him decide that maybe he should be the one to bring it up. That's always something that he's liked about Hawke. She doesn't go digging into his past to find out more of who Handsome Jack is. ]
yeah would like to slash already have been
[ but you know keep it casual ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-11 04:50 pm (UTC)[ And then he throws that curveball at her and Hawke just has a very wild moment of staring at her PDD with a blank expression. What. It's actually kind of startling a feeling because even though she rarely asks him anything, she did feel very secure of her knowledge of who Jack is as a person. This is kind of a new one for her. ]
You know drive-thru chapels don't count as an actual marriage, right?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-11 07:33 pm (UTC)yeah I'll just stop you right there before you make any more jokes. she's dead
fuck you for doing this to me WHY IS HAWKE SO STUPID
From:HAHAHA!!
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