week one - after the game is introduced

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[ So it's probably about zero surprise, but once there's time to settle in, there's a pretty loud bang at Rhys's door. Like someone did something weirdly unhinged like kicking the door instead of knocking like a normal person. Who would do such a thing!! Though the fact that Jack speaks through the door is a pretty good clue to that. ]

Heyyy, Rhysie. Can we chat? Let's chat.

[ Though when Rhys actually opens the door, he'll notice something new about Jack's appearance. Since Jack has his arms crossed, the pistol mentioned in his profile is on Jack's wrist. For anyone else, this would seem threatening, but for Borderlands, this is super normal... ]

Comments

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[ There are small blessings that Jack is preoccupied with disassembling his pistol to make sure it's in working order, and one of those is definitely missing that dumb smile. If he had seen it, Rhys would definitely be getting Jack's always helpful perspective that Rhys just needs to embrace things like that if he wants to make it to the top. It's a bit ironic, considering Rhys's realization that follows. Jack had blackmailed and murdered his way to the top, and in Jack's odd way, he's trying to mentor Rhys to that same sort of ambition. Of course, so long as it actually stops short of Jack himself. ]

What, you didn't scan her?

[ Jack asks, but he knows the question... Rhys forgetting about his cybernetics is no surprise to him, considering he had an especially close perspective for that bit of idiocy. But he does laugh, because something else occurs to him. ]

Not exactly the same, but you want the ol' Jack-apedia analysis? I mean, half of the stuff- No, wait, less, probably like a third of the stuff I was thinking that showed up in that stupid thing was total bullshit anyways.

[jackhole]

[ rhys knows exactly what jack means when he asks about rhys scanning her and he feels his face heat up in embarrassment because yes, jack. he forgot again. he forgets a lot of the time and that's a perfectly normal thing to do! in fact, it just means his cybernetics are better than normal because it's almost like they're natural! since he. forgets them so much. oh god.

but he knows better by now to defend himself against that so instead he just sighs and listens to jack go on about the jackapedia. maybe he wants jack's entry? maybe? it was so much easier when he could just demand it automatically. ]

Well, that's pretty obvious. [ rhys, you're so passive aggressive. ] But yeah, tell me what you've got.

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[ When Rhys doesn't answer the first question, Jack does glance up to Rhys, then sighs heavily as he shakes his head. Man, he can't even joke about it. It's just sad. Why get cybernetics if you don't even use them? But that's another question that Jack already knows the answer to, so he just moves on smoothly to the much more hilarious subject at hand: ]

Okay. Okay, I got this.

Creepy Water Ghost Something AI Lady (?)
Age: Who cares? Definitely an AI.
Manufacturer: Not Hyperion. You can tell because of the lack of yellow, but like I need to explain that to you. Otherwise, who cares.
Status: Unhelpful. Like, seriously, the mysterious all-seeing AI schtick is old. Who even designs an AI like that? Locked questions? No asking for overrides? Bad taste in music? It's no Claptrap, but that last one is definitely a pretty good reason to destroy it.
Likelihood of Murder: I mean, pretty high. I've seen movies like this before, and the AI is totally going to go rogue. [ Jack says, potentially completely oblivious (or ignoring) that he's one of those AIs.

He holds up the gun for Rhys to take a look all of the sudden, and it's almost completely disassembled. All that's really left is whatever part makes the shock portion, and Jack gives a winning smile to Rhys. ]

Go on, you want to check it out, right?

[ Is Jack offering to let Rhys look just so that he'll shock himself? Never. This could also be a test to see just how familiar Rhys is with Hyperion tech. ]

[jackhole]

[ look, even rhys knows his flaws at this point. a guy doesn't go through getting trapped in a escape pod without realizing he probably should use his robot arm more.

but he listens to jack's run down pretty patiently and at the end of it, there's one very important little grumble he has to say. ]

Pfft, if anything she screams Maliwan. That water shtick? Has those war hippies written all over it.

[ right then! he sort of contemplates the rest, wondering if the AI's going to kill them all dead here. except, jack's also an AI still... isn't he? actually, rhys should probably ask about that. maybe jack can... get in touch with the ship? if rhys needs to upload him, he will. you would think rhys would have learned his lesson by now about uploading jack to things but no.

he's about to ask jack about this specifically when jack holds up the gun parts to rhys and rhys immediately gets distracted. he actually looks kind of overjoyed suddenly?? ahhh, jack, you know the way to a war profiteer's heart. ]

Yyyyyes, oh my god? Jack! You're the best.

[ and now he's totally going to reach out for that shock option and with his robot hand even, so let's see if he fries himself. ]

You deactivated this bit, right --

[ oh no. ]

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Ohh, you know, hadn't even thought about that, but you know? Yeah. Yeah, that is the kind of stupid AI they would make up. [ He laughs ] I mean, you know- No, wait, who am I kidding, there's no way you'd know, but here's some juicy insider trading for you, bucko. Last I heard, they were actually, legitimately working on a gun with water. Which, I mean, how many batteries are they smoking? Hello, it's called a Super Soaker? God. They're so— They're so friggin' stupid.

[ Jack laughs more at the thought, because he really wants some idiot with a Maliwan water gun to think that it's actually something deadly before they get blasted away by a Hyperion rifle. That's beautiful business right there. But as Rhys's attention shifts to his gun, Jack's ends up heading there too. ]

It's a sweet-ass gun, if I do say so myself. Which I obviously do. Like, granted, this isn't the deadliest gun I have, but this old girl? She's special. Actually, it's pretty weird seeing it again, since I was a dumbass and got rid of them after the whole Elpis thing. Should've saved them, but, eh.

[ Honestly, he probably lost them sometime as he was adjusting to his new insane mindset, but those are details! They're also details that this Jack may not fully remember, but it's also just his sort of personality to gloss over things like that and not dwell on it much longer than needed. After all, he has an idiot to shock. ]

...Kinda missed it, actually. I spent forever modding it to be like this. God, I- I actually remember working on it during breaks when I was sick of whatever stupid code bullshit I was working on.

[ Jack is definitely just talking his head off to not have to answer the question here, because any kind of answer is going to ruin Rhys giving himself a nice shock. At least it won't kill Rhys, since these phasers are set to stun, duh. Or more accurately, these elemental guns are at least built with safety mechanisms to dampen the effects when you're messing with them, since killing your customers during maintenance is generally bad business practice. ]

1/3

[jackhole]

[ uwaah, jack!! you're so freggin moe and rhys is completely enamored as jack talks, just sort of grinning to himself as jack goes on and on about maliwan and how stupid they are. he even laughs after, nodding. ]

Yeah, so stupid. Water, pfft. That's hilarious. Just... just grab a faucet or something, ahaha...

[ and good info for him to take back to pandora when they're all done with this. ahh, jack. you're so useful!

then jack starts talking about himself and rhys is just so pleased to listen as he reaches out for the shock gadget. this is such a nice moment! he's so glad to hang out with jack again when jack's not trying to murder him! ]

2/3

[jackhole]

[ which of course, shocks him. who's surprised? no one in this room should be surprised.

it zaps up his robot arm and makes his eye go all on the fritz for a moment before he collapses to the ground in a heap.

ow. ]

3/3

[jackhole]

[ BUT THEN BACK TO THE IMPORTANT THING! which is jack's moment of moe. rhys coughs a few times as his eye comes back online and weakly pushes himself up from the floor to like, lean against the wall. he's not going to stand up just yet though because seriously, ow?

instead he'll just sit here and continue their conversation. ]

What kind of... [ cough cough ] code bullshit? I can't really imagine you doing -- [ wheeze ] -- that kind of thing, actually.

[ taking in some air here. wow, that thing packed a bit of a punch! ]

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[ God. This truly never gets old, because as soon as Rhys shocks the shit out of himself, Jack is definitely quick to laugh obnoxiously in that dumb, wheezy and nasally way that happens only when he finds something truly hilarious. He even smacks his hand against the desk a few times as he has to catch his breath too, albeit for different reasons. ]

I— God, you're gonna fall for this kind of thing every time, aren't you? Good. I can't—

[ Give him a moment, because truly, he's just as amused by this as he was giving Rhys hell as a weird ghost. But on the plus side, by the time Jack does regain his breath, he's in a good enough mood to not completely evade the question. With the gun fully disassembled now, he goes through the process of carefully cleaning it, though some of his laughter still remains in his voice. ]

I mean, had to start somewhere, kiddo. I didn't start out on top, and I'm not ashamed of that. Nope, I was like waaaaay down there. Just a programmer, and not even like, R&D. We're talking social media, synergy, branding, all the business and marketing stuff that suit types blow their load over. You've even used my stuff before, probably. You know that Hyperion work chat program that everyone uses? Wrote that when I started out.

[ Which is all surprisingly humble for Jack, considering how much of a braggart he is about everything else, but this is something he seems much more reserved about. ]

Been coding ever since I was a kid, and I'm damn good at it. Don't really do it anymore, since I don't have time, but it's how I started, and it's how I got to where I am today. Hacked some servers and satellites, found out about Pandora's secret goldmine, and the rest is history.