week one - after the game is introduced

[refactor]

[ So it's probably about zero surprise, but once there's time to settle in, there's a pretty loud bang at Rhys's door. Like someone did something weirdly unhinged like kicking the door instead of knocking like a normal person. Who would do such a thing!! Though the fact that Jack speaks through the door is a pretty good clue to that. ]

Heyyy, Rhysie. Can we chat? Let's chat.

[ Though when Rhys actually opens the door, he'll notice something new about Jack's appearance. Since Jack has his arms crossed, the pistol mentioned in his profile is on Jack's wrist. For anyone else, this would seem threatening, but for Borderlands, this is super normal... ]

Comments

[refactor]

Ohh, you know, hadn't even thought about that, but you know? Yeah. Yeah, that is the kind of stupid AI they would make up. [ He laughs ] I mean, you know- No, wait, who am I kidding, there's no way you'd know, but here's some juicy insider trading for you, bucko. Last I heard, they were actually, legitimately working on a gun with water. Which, I mean, how many batteries are they smoking? Hello, it's called a Super Soaker? God. They're so— They're so friggin' stupid.

[ Jack laughs more at the thought, because he really wants some idiot with a Maliwan water gun to think that it's actually something deadly before they get blasted away by a Hyperion rifle. That's beautiful business right there. But as Rhys's attention shifts to his gun, Jack's ends up heading there too. ]

It's a sweet-ass gun, if I do say so myself. Which I obviously do. Like, granted, this isn't the deadliest gun I have, but this old girl? She's special. Actually, it's pretty weird seeing it again, since I was a dumbass and got rid of them after the whole Elpis thing. Should've saved them, but, eh.

[ Honestly, he probably lost them sometime as he was adjusting to his new insane mindset, but those are details! They're also details that this Jack may not fully remember, but it's also just his sort of personality to gloss over things like that and not dwell on it much longer than needed. After all, he has an idiot to shock. ]

...Kinda missed it, actually. I spent forever modding it to be like this. God, I- I actually remember working on it during breaks when I was sick of whatever stupid code bullshit I was working on.

[ Jack is definitely just talking his head off to not have to answer the question here, because any kind of answer is going to ruin Rhys giving himself a nice shock. At least it won't kill Rhys, since these phasers are set to stun, duh. Or more accurately, these elemental guns are at least built with safety mechanisms to dampen the effects when you're messing with them, since killing your customers during maintenance is generally bad business practice. ]

1/3

[jackhole]

[ uwaah, jack!! you're so freggin moe and rhys is completely enamored as jack talks, just sort of grinning to himself as jack goes on and on about maliwan and how stupid they are. he even laughs after, nodding. ]

Yeah, so stupid. Water, pfft. That's hilarious. Just... just grab a faucet or something, ahaha...

[ and good info for him to take back to pandora when they're all done with this. ahh, jack. you're so useful!

then jack starts talking about himself and rhys is just so pleased to listen as he reaches out for the shock gadget. this is such a nice moment! he's so glad to hang out with jack again when jack's not trying to murder him! ]

2/3

[jackhole]

[ which of course, shocks him. who's surprised? no one in this room should be surprised.

it zaps up his robot arm and makes his eye go all on the fritz for a moment before he collapses to the ground in a heap.

ow. ]

3/3

[jackhole]

[ BUT THEN BACK TO THE IMPORTANT THING! which is jack's moment of moe. rhys coughs a few times as his eye comes back online and weakly pushes himself up from the floor to like, lean against the wall. he's not going to stand up just yet though because seriously, ow?

instead he'll just sit here and continue their conversation. ]

What kind of... [ cough cough ] code bullshit? I can't really imagine you doing -- [ wheeze ] -- that kind of thing, actually.

[ taking in some air here. wow, that thing packed a bit of a punch! ]

[refactor]

[ God. This truly never gets old, because as soon as Rhys shocks the shit out of himself, Jack is definitely quick to laugh obnoxiously in that dumb, wheezy and nasally way that happens only when he finds something truly hilarious. He even smacks his hand against the desk a few times as he has to catch his breath too, albeit for different reasons. ]

I— God, you're gonna fall for this kind of thing every time, aren't you? Good. I can't—

[ Give him a moment, because truly, he's just as amused by this as he was giving Rhys hell as a weird ghost. But on the plus side, by the time Jack does regain his breath, he's in a good enough mood to not completely evade the question. With the gun fully disassembled now, he goes through the process of carefully cleaning it, though some of his laughter still remains in his voice. ]

I mean, had to start somewhere, kiddo. I didn't start out on top, and I'm not ashamed of that. Nope, I was like waaaaay down there. Just a programmer, and not even like, R&D. We're talking social media, synergy, branding, all the business and marketing stuff that suit types blow their load over. You've even used my stuff before, probably. You know that Hyperion work chat program that everyone uses? Wrote that when I started out.

[ Which is all surprisingly humble for Jack, considering how much of a braggart he is about everything else, but this is something he seems much more reserved about. ]

Been coding ever since I was a kid, and I'm damn good at it. Don't really do it anymore, since I don't have time, but it's how I started, and it's how I got to where I am today. Hacked some servers and satellites, found out about Pandora's secret goldmine, and the rest is history.