Entry tags:
week 13 - idk tuesday
[ On Tuesday, Yuno will be getting a pretty out of the blue message from Jack! He does actually have something in mind here that he wants to talk to her about, but. First thing's first: ]
Hey, Yuno. Sorry for uh
Well probably should've sent you another message sooner? After Saturday night. Buuuut kinda got distracted, honestly. This place is like equal parts HELLA boring and then I'm busy trying to figure stuff out. Crazy stuff.
How're your legs doing, kiddo?
Hey, Yuno. Sorry for uh
Well probably should've sent you another message sooner? After Saturday night. Buuuut kinda got distracted, honestly. This place is like equal parts HELLA boring and then I'm busy trying to figure stuff out. Crazy stuff.
How're your legs doing, kiddo?
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You listened to me. Tried to help. Had a way to help, a plan. That? That alone is why I like you, kiddo. Even if I could fulfill my end of the bargain, I was always gonna respect you for offering in the first place. So, yeah, I mean, I'm taking it back now, but I still like you, Yuno.
...Which is probably a little weird for a [REDACTED] year old guy to say to you. I realize. Ughhhhhh but you know I'm not being weird it's just platonic
Point is? Try and not worry about that. Don't worry about that or Angel or anything like it. I just reoriented my priorities is all.
[ Then, a few moments later: ]
Realize I may not be the best person here to say so, but. You really suicidal, kiddo? I uh guess you talked to Rhys and I'm assuming that helped but, hey. You wanna talk, I'm here.
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But thank you. That helps me understand the situation a lot more.
[ there was a genuine fear there, that jack wouldn't need her anymore and now that she wasn't needed she was going to be tossed aside and forgotten. but it's a fear he's successfully quelled, all the same. ]
I won't worry if you don't want me to. You'll always have the option to use my abilities, Jack. I'm not going away.
I
[ give her a moment. she's thinking about how to respond to this, going over her conversation with rhys, remembering the details. the things he told her. ]
Didn't realize that's what it was..
I was always ready to die. I knew I was going to die. If I could kill myself to make things happen better than I would. It's not a problem to me. I'm expendable... I can be thrown away at any time, but as long as I've made someone I love happy, it's worth it. So I guess, yeah. I am. I was willing to die to make sure the ship didn't get blown up, which Jason told me is assisted suicide? So I put two and two together after Rhys asked me if I'm suicidal. So I guess I am? It's strange to admit it. This is just how I am.
Are you going to tell me not to die, too?
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[ Whether that's actually true is up for debate, but Jack certainly believes that would be the case. At least Yuno gets a dad level emoticon for the efforts, so it's fine, totally. ]
Well. Yes and no? Which probably makes me a terrible person, but it's worth explaining here. Because I mean, I can't just say across the board "no" here. I'd be a huge hypocrite. Since uh yeah no further explanation really needed there.
But. I don't think you should die, no. You're still young, kiddo. I don't mean that in a condescending dickish way but when I was your age (ugh I'm sorry for the phrasing), I deeeeefinitely didn't even have an inkling of what my life was going to be, you know? Hell, I was only barely thinking about college. The idea that I'd work for Hyperion, work my way up, become CEO? No way. And then that I'd be trying to save some far off planet that I'd never even heard of at the time? Even crazier. So. There's definitely something to be said for living for the sake of living. There's always something to strive for, and things'll surprise you.
But on the other hand? I mean, if it wasn't obvious, I can't exactly tell someone that they can't die the way they want to. I know (knew?) I was gonna die because that's just the friggin nature of what I do. What I do, who I want to be, it means that I'm not exactly gonna die of old age. So. Knowing that? Feel like there's a certain way I want to go if I have to at all, you know? So I mean, first point still stands, and still hope you won't be coming to join us. But dying on your own terms isn't something I can exactly call stupid or anything.
But yeah not telling you to kill yourself either. Like, wow, that would be super shitty? I only tell people I super hate to go kill themselves.
[ jack don't just admit that ]