week 13 - idk tuesday

[refactor]

[ On Tuesday, Yuno will be getting a pretty out of the blue message from Jack! He does actually have something in mind here that he wants to talk to her about, but. First thing's first: ]

Hey, Yuno. Sorry for uh

Well probably should've sent you another message sooner? After Saturday night. Buuuut kinda got distracted, honestly. This place is like equal parts HELLA boring and then I'm busy trying to figure stuff out. Crazy stuff.

How're your legs doing, kiddo?

Comments

[bloodteller]

[ honestly, she doesn't care how late this is. he contacted her to begin with, that's more than enough for her. ]

Jack!!!!

It's okay, Sunday was really awful and I probably wouldn't have been able to respond either. I was really stressed out, and then the whole
Alien general thing, you know

Do you need help with anything?

My legs... they're okay. I still can't walk but I'm trying. Dave's been letting me lean on him and he carries me sometimes. I think I'll be able to walk eventually, but I have to be careful about it, I guess.
...Thank you for asking!

[refactor]

Yeaaaah kinda figured that might be the case. Wasn't exactly a good day for anyone. Actually couldn't pick who got the most shit end of that stick even if I wanted to.

But nah no need. Honestly just a lot of waiting around at this point I think? And I mean if it wasn't obvious kinda hate just hanging around. So. Said I'd text you at least, and here I am. So yeah SUPER bored, so text me whenever you want. Just sayin.

Sorry about your legs, though. You got caught up in all my alien bs so yeah, my bad there. I mean I'm glad he wasn't a TOTAL dick, since I mean. He couldv'e been. [ because were the situations reversed, jack sure would have killed yuno s w e a t s ] Glad to hear Dave's helping you out, though. He's

Well, you're both good kids.

[bloodteller]

Adrien did.

[ she's firm about that. she won't budge on it. yeah, maybe everyone else is hurting, but they're alive and don't have to live with the guilt that adrien does; yuno thinks that out of everyone on this ship, he's gotten the worst deal. ]

Yeah I guess so. I hope you guys get to participate or something in Stage 2. Whatever it is, I just want to see you again. You know with your whole face
I'm sorry I didn't protect you better, the chloroform took me off guard.

It's not your bad. I blame the aliens for that. You wouldn't have died if it hadn't been for them, too. If there's anyone we should blame for that situation it should be them, I think. Don't you?

Dave's my knight in shining armor ♡ You know he pulled me out when the smoke was getting to me? If he hadn't then I definitely would have died. I would have liked to go when you did but I hope you're not mad at me for not doing so... I promised that I'd bring Angel back for you and I will do that but I have to bring you back first.

do
you really think i'm a good kid

[refactor]

[ SO HE GOT POSSESSED AND KILLED HIS GIRLFRIEND big deal!!! Which isn't actually what Jack is thinking here, since he's pretty inclined to agree for the most part, but. He had also seen that no one exactly came out of this week happy, so it's not quite a point he's going to argue. ]

Hey, it's fine! I mean, now that I remember it? Totally went out like a badass at least. I mean, kinda sucks that I had to off myself, but, hey, COMPLETELY in agreement here that it's 100% the aliens' fault. Like, fuck them. To the point that you can say "fuck" when referring to them and I'm gonna be like "yeah okay I agree completely there." So, yeah. I fucking hate them.

[ yuno can say fuck ]

[ There is a pause before the next set of messages, though. ]

Yeah, you are, kiddo. That's kind of why I wanted to send you a message. We

God, you know how ominous it is to say "we need to talk"? Like that's never friggin anything good. But. Yeah. We do. Your promise, it really meant a lot to me, and I'll still hold up my end of the bargain if I even can. But Angel

[ There's another pause here. ]

Just realized that wasn't the right thing to do. That's all. I'll let her rest in peace.

[bloodteller]

I don't like how you died Jack. Sorry. I wanted you to stay with me more

They're kind of cunts if you ask me though
I'm not apologizing for that one btw it's true!!!! Ugh
Okay I'm sorry but I hit enter already

No Jack I don't want to go back home I don't want to go back there and die. That world wouldn't let me be with the man I love but this one does. So I don't care about that world anymore. Let it burn. I'll save this one instead.

[ but she waits and thinks on his response, of course. she thinks about it long and hard because it hurts, at first. it feels like jack is rejecting everything yuno has tried to give him and it makes her... angry? sad? some combination of the two. he types out the bit about not going home because it's a worthless timeline she doesn't need anymore with a straight face but-- if jack's watching the monitors, before yuno responds, her face is twisted in concentration and thought and hurt.

after around three minutes, she responds. ]

It's okay to use me, you know.
I offered.
Is that really what you want?

[refactor]

I mean, trust me, would have preferred the living option! Buuuut wasn't super surprised considering uh everything I was doing to try and taunt it into attacking me. So. Yay, it worked, boo, I'm dead. Ish. Unsure. For what it's worth, sorry that I couldn't stay with you. Because yeah, like I said, that's 100% my preference there.

...Also, language. Come on! But I'll let it slide because I mean agreed. Being rude to aliens is at least fair.

[ He's not watching her, so he misses those expressions, but the silence says enough. Jack didn't think that this subject was going to be an easy one to approach, but he still sighs when he gets the message that follows up the first one. ]

But it's nothing about you kiddo. Not you, not our deal, none of that. Just, hell, if I'm honest? Realized that wanting to bring Angel back was

Well, it was selfish of me. I guess. I don't know. It's weird to explain and even weirder when it's just text so bear with me here. But that big ugly eyeball alien queen bitch thing? [ he's super eloquent ] Know that it was meant to fuck me up. It did, if I'm even more honest. But. Don't know. What it showed me, I at least realized that the best thing I could do for my baby girl wouldn't be bringing her back.

[bloodteller]

lol okkkk dad jeez. it's just c
nvm

Jack I'll do what you want me to do.
I just hope this doesn't mean you don't like me anymore? I know that's weird because you're... you and I'm me but I like you a lot and you make me feel safe
I think you're one of the reasons I'm still alive, which. I'm sorry I lived and you didn't. It should have been me instead and if I could go back I'd fix that
Rhys told me that I shouldn't want to die and that I shouldn't be suicidal but I think that it's just plain fact that you're better for the ship than me. This isn't fair. I'm sorry.

If you don't want me to bring Angel back then I won't. sometimes
people ARE better off dead. Sometimes being alive is worse than being dead and if that's what you think she needs then I'll listen but I'm always
up for bringing people back for you Jack. I'll make sure you get what you want I promise.

[refactor]

What? No. No, kiddo, that has nothing to do with me liking you? Okay, no, it does but not like that.

You listened to me. Tried to help. Had a way to help, a plan. That? That alone is why I like you, kiddo. Even if I could fulfill my end of the bargain, I was always gonna respect you for offering in the first place. So, yeah, I mean, I'm taking it back now, but I still like you, Yuno.

...Which is probably a little weird for a [REDACTED] year old guy to say to you. I realize. Ughhhhhh but you know I'm not being weird it's just platonic

Point is? Try and not worry about that. Don't worry about that or Angel or anything like it. I just reoriented my priorities is all.

[ Then, a few moments later: ]

Realize I may not be the best person here to say so, but. You really suicidal, kiddo? I uh guess you talked to Rhys and I'm assuming that helped but, hey. You wanna talk, I'm here.

[bloodteller]

Oh I get what you mean. It's what started our relationship, but it doesn't affect it because we've moved beyond it. But really, Jack, I'm used to it. If you ever need me, I'm here. Being used is what I'm good at! I like helping people I like.

But thank you. That helps me understand the situation a lot more.

[ there was a genuine fear there, that jack wouldn't need her anymore and now that she wasn't needed she was going to be tossed aside and forgotten. but it's a fear he's successfully quelled, all the same. ]

I won't worry if you don't want me to. You'll always have the option to use my abilities, Jack. I'm not going away.

I

[ give her a moment. she's thinking about how to respond to this, going over her conversation with rhys, remembering the details. the things he told her. ]

Didn't realize that's what it was..
I was always ready to die. I knew I was going to die. If I could kill myself to make things happen better than I would. It's not a problem to me. I'm expendable... I can be thrown away at any time, but as long as I've made someone I love happy, it's worth it. So I guess, yeah. I am. I was willing to die to make sure the ship didn't get blown up, which Jason told me is assisted suicide? So I put two and two together after Rhys asked me if I'm suicidal. So I guess I am? It's strange to admit it. This is just how I am.

Are you going to tell me not to die, too?

[refactor]

Hey, then just help me out for the sake of helping me out then? I mean, can't think of anything right now or anything, but. Don't need to think of it as being used, kiddo. I'd help you out just as much. :)

[ Whether that's actually true is up for debate, but Jack certainly believes that would be the case. At least Yuno gets a dad level emoticon for the efforts, so it's fine, totally. ]

Well. Yes and no? Which probably makes me a terrible person, but it's worth explaining here. Because I mean, I can't just say across the board "no" here. I'd be a huge hypocrite. Since uh yeah no further explanation really needed there.

But. I don't think you should die, no. You're still young, kiddo. I don't mean that in a condescending dickish way but when I was your age (ugh I'm sorry for the phrasing), I deeeeefinitely didn't even have an inkling of what my life was going to be, you know? Hell, I was only barely thinking about college. The idea that I'd work for Hyperion, work my way up, become CEO? No way. And then that I'd be trying to save some far off planet that I'd never even heard of at the time? Even crazier. So. There's definitely something to be said for living for the sake of living. There's always something to strive for, and things'll surprise you.

But on the other hand? I mean, if it wasn't obvious, I can't exactly tell someone that they can't die the way they want to. I know (knew?) I was gonna die because that's just the friggin nature of what I do. What I do, who I want to be, it means that I'm not exactly gonna die of old age. So. Knowing that? Feel like there's a certain way I want to go if I have to at all, you know? So I mean, first point still stands, and still hope you won't be coming to join us. But dying on your own terms isn't something I can exactly call stupid or anything.

But yeah not telling you to kill yourself either. Like, wow, that would be super shitty? I only tell people I super hate to go kill themselves.

[ jack don't just admit that ]