[ elizabeth is alive and rhys isn't sure how to feel about that.
he found out where to watch what happens, feeling a voyeuristic sensation settle over him as he sat in the chair and began to go through the screens. it was... thursday, he realized, and the last thing he remembered was elizabeth's transformation on sunday night before the feeling of being shot by jack. bits and pieces crawl through his memories from when he turned into that monster but other than that, he isn't sure what to make of anything. he feels a startling numbness, the only thing holding back a tidal wave of even worse, more terrifying emotions as he observes everything with a blank, flat expression.
the camera switches to fiona first, wrapping her bleeding finger in the med bay. rhys sinks into his chair and feels his head drop, eyes moving to the ceiling because he just -- he said he would stay and he didn't. he shouldn't have stayed though, when he thinks about it. not with this nasty, rotten thing crawling inside of him -- it would have hurt her. he knows it, it would have mercilessly torn apart fiona with little regard for rhys' feelings and, and, and --
... and he wonders, if for a moment, she knew? she was so silent during the trial despite her assurance she would back him up against jack. he felt so alone, so right in his beliefs that he ignored the stress in her eyes and did little to stop himself from going head to head against jack. he thought it was so obvious -- jack was vile! terrible! jack deserved everything bad that happened to him! he ENSLAVED his DAUGHTER, of course he was the bad guy here.
yet everyone just thought rhys was hysterical, that he was yelling for his own sake and a nuisance at most. marinette egged him on, called him an idiot when she didn't even know. she had no idea what rhys dealt with when it came to jack, had no idea just how deep rhys' fear of the other man ran. he thinks of dorian who promised to talk to him, to hear him out later but -- but how. rhys knew jack wouldn't hesitate, it didn't matter what rhys said or did but if nothing changed right then, nothing would change at all.
so, maybe she knew. left him alone to deal with jack because she knew that he was a monster deep down all along. he finds himself curling into the chair, hands sliding through his hair as he brings his knees up to his chest and try to remember how to breathe. she must have known because otherwise, why would she be so quiet? why would she have abandoned him like this? fiona never -- fiona never abandoned him, until now. he feels a hollow sort of emptiness when he realizes why.
she knew he was a monster. jack knew he was a monster. he was alone from the start.
at least... at least jack didn't kill him immediately, though? that must have been what was happening. jack trying to keep rhys company, keep him from becoming worse than he was. that's why rhys felt so happy around him, that must be it. jack was fine with switching handcuff partners that week because... because he knew what rhys was. of course. he knew that minako couldn't handle rhys like he could and that has to be why. it has to be why because... what other reason could there be? that must've been why he punched him too, he had no idea what rhys was actually dreaming about -- must have thought it was the thing inside him coming to the surface and not one of rhys' own insecurities.
of course. it all makes so much sense now. jack was trying to save him.
when he pulls his hands out of his hair, there are tears on his face but he doesn't bother to stem them and instead switches views to someone else. just -- just, he had to get away from fiona. he hopes she burned his letter, hopes she can find happiness elsewhere. he doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve anyone at all. the camera settles on elizabeth after a moment and she's in the holding cells, asleep. he's shocked for a moment, really truly shocked because if she's alive... why wasn't he? what... what changed in that small gap of time that he's missing? maybe there was some sort of mistake, just a hiccup and at any moment he'll be returned to his body like nothing happened. or... or maybe -- maybe his monster was stronger? it dragged him along for so long, it kept him aware long past the point of body decay -- maybe... maybe they couldn't keep him alive? they must have tried, he thinks. why would they just let him die?
... oh god, what if he didn't deserve to be saved? jack must have had to make a choice, seeing how far gone rhys had become. rhys was truly becoming his monster at that point, right? he was the bad guy here, the one who had to be put down. that's why elizabeth still lives and he doesn't. jack saved all of them by killing him. that despair he felt at being alone, it makes sense now if he was this thing all along. jack knew and tried to spare them even more grief but his monster, oh it went out of control. maybe it's because he's -- well, he's not elizabeth. elizabeth was kind and good and did way fucking more for anyone than he ever did. maybe it's who you are that determines how... vile you become.
rhys has never been a good person and now, he's died for it.
[ the camera turns to jack and rhys sort of... gets lost in him? he idly thinks he should have a more extreme reaction to seeing jack here, alive and whole and without him but instead all he feels is a strange, calming sensation. it isn't the same pervasive loneliness he feels when he sees fiona, or the mix of betrayal and self-pity he sees when he sees elizabeth. it's a quiet, numbing calm because he gets it now.
jack killed him because he was a monster. jack is a hero. jack's always been a hero.
he sits in his chair with his arms wrapped loosely around his ankles, his cheek pressed against his knee as he watches jack on the screen. there's -- there's a trial happening and everyone is caught up once again in events. another death? some girl, rhys doesn't remember her name, doesn't bother to reach for it. instead he keeps his eyes on jack, jack who seems so peaceful in his sleep despite the hysteria. rhys could sympathize, he thinks. jack did just save the ship, kill (save) the two people who were destined to destroy everything from the inside out. trials could return to normal with nothing lurking underneath the skin of the innocent ones left until everyone can finally find their way around alice and...
maybe then they'll get to go home. he wonders if that's why he's stuck here, watching them. will he come back? will they let him come back? he's not sure if he deserves it anymore. after all, he did kill jack and helios seems so long ago now that... that rhys has to rethink it. maybe jack was trying to do the same thing there that he did here? save rhys? rhys was so blinded by his own ego that he couldn't understand his intentions, couldn't understand that jack was just trying to help. he was always just trying to help rhys, wasn't that what he said? they were a team and sometimes being part of a team means having to make the hard calls. hard calls like putting down your partner because he's gone too far.
rhys had gone so far that even fiona couldn't save him anymore. he really did deserve this, he thinks.
rhys watches as jack returns from the trial and settles in for the night. he doesn't feel much empathy for shelley, doesn't really remember why she bothered killing in the first place. she seemed so guilty, so sad over what she's done and rhys doesn't feel a thing -- just a tired sigh at the repetition. jack was so right, he thinks. he's really become what he feared -- cold and dead inside, unable to relate to those around him, unable to care for them. he was going down the wrong path the whole time and he hadn't even realized.
god, he's fucking stupid.
he feels like he should feel something when jack takes out his torn up arm but at most, he glances down to where it is now -- whole on his right side. he hasn't bothered to test the mechanics of it here, to see if his things are still accessible. what's the point? the stuff in his arm, all of his important atlas documents and blueprints, his memories of his friends, his stupid freggin' echojournal. he wonders if he could access it here, watch the logs all over again and see where he can find the exact moment he turned from... whatever he once was to whatever he is now. he's not quite sure anymore if he was a good person then but he definitely knows he's not a good person now. he hopes jack destroys it since there's no damn point to it all anymore -- or maybe, maybe he can take it as his own? rhys destroyed hyperion, jack can have atlas. rhys doesn't deserve the company any more but jack could do it so much better with it, couldn't he? he could make pandora safe like rhys was trying to... make it a place to actually live, like jack was originally doing before the vault hunters stopped him.
he's fine with watching this, watching jack take the arm apart and repurpose it for his own until suddenly, jack starts to speak. rhys' brow furrows and he can't help but pay attention, wondering what jack could possibly have on his mind right now until he realizes -- it's him. jack's talking about him, rhys. rhys' breath catches in his throat and he finally lifts his head from his legs, watching the screen with intense eyes.
he needs -- he wishes -- fuck. he finds himself unfolding from the chair and approaching the screen with outstretched arms. he listens to jack and can't help the boiling need to respond. this is the closest he's felt to the guy since... since... two weeks ago. it really has been a while, huh?
always trusting people i know i goddamn shouldn't. ]
Wait --
[ don't get it, though. it doesn't make any goddamn sense. ]
Wait.
[ he could've killed me. had plenty of chances, since i didn't think he'd screw me. ]
Wait, Jack!
[ jack's voice quiets and rhys is left clutching the screen of the video feed, eyes watering once more as he just... doesn't now quite how to process this. there's so many feelings churning in his gut and he wants to go back, wants to talk to jack, wants to -- ]
... I'm so sorry, Jack. I am so, so sorry.
[ apologize. he wants to apologize. rhys takes a step back from the screen, slowly sinking to his knees and pressing his hands to his face as the tears finally start to spill over. he hurts, he hurts so bad because at least -- at least jack didn't abandon him in the end, did he? he tried to help until he knew he couldn't help any more. he helped liz, right? because that must have been what happened, he must have been the one to pull the monster out of her but keep her alive. he must've tried the same for rhys because why wouldn't he? why wouldn't jack help him? but rhys was far too gone at that point, even fiona knew and that's why she didn't fight it. that had to be the reason why because nothing else made any sense. why would everyone just abandon him? why would no one believe him? why would fiona stay so silent? there's only one clear option here and it's because he was the bad guy and jack was the hero who was going to save the day.
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momijizukamori
a death in four parts, part three of four.
Date: 2016-07-26 02:23 am (UTC)he found out where to watch what happens, feeling a voyeuristic sensation settle over him as he sat in the chair and began to go through the screens. it was... thursday, he realized, and the last thing he remembered was elizabeth's transformation on sunday night before the feeling of being shot by jack. bits and pieces crawl through his memories from when he turned into that monster but other than that, he isn't sure what to make of anything. he feels a startling numbness, the only thing holding back a tidal wave of even worse, more terrifying emotions as he observes everything with a blank, flat expression.
the camera switches to fiona first, wrapping her bleeding finger in the med bay. rhys sinks into his chair and feels his head drop, eyes moving to the ceiling because he just -- he said he would stay and he didn't. he shouldn't have stayed though, when he thinks about it. not with this nasty, rotten thing crawling inside of him -- it would have hurt her. he knows it, it would have mercilessly torn apart fiona with little regard for rhys' feelings and, and, and --
... and he wonders, if for a moment, she knew? she was so silent during the trial despite her assurance she would back him up against jack. he felt so alone, so right in his beliefs that he ignored the stress in her eyes and did little to stop himself from going head to head against jack. he thought it was so obvious -- jack was vile! terrible! jack deserved everything bad that happened to him! he ENSLAVED his DAUGHTER, of course he was the bad guy here.
yet everyone just thought rhys was hysterical, that he was yelling for his own sake and a nuisance at most. marinette egged him on, called him an idiot when she didn't even know. she had no idea what rhys dealt with when it came to jack, had no idea just how deep rhys' fear of the other man ran. he thinks of dorian who promised to talk to him, to hear him out later but -- but how. rhys knew jack wouldn't hesitate, it didn't matter what rhys said or did but if nothing changed right then, nothing would change at all.
so, maybe she knew. left him alone to deal with jack because she knew that he was a monster deep down all along. he finds himself curling into the chair, hands sliding through his hair as he brings his knees up to his chest and try to remember how to breathe. she must have known because otherwise, why would she be so quiet? why would she have abandoned him like this? fiona never -- fiona never abandoned him, until now. he feels a hollow sort of emptiness when he realizes why.
she knew he was a monster. jack knew he was a monster. he was alone from the start.
at least... at least jack didn't kill him immediately, though? that must have been what was happening. jack trying to keep rhys company, keep him from becoming worse than he was. that's why rhys felt so happy around him, that must be it. jack was fine with switching handcuff partners that week because... because he knew what rhys was. of course. he knew that minako couldn't handle rhys like he could and that has to be why. it has to be why because... what other reason could there be? that must've been why he punched him too, he had no idea what rhys was actually dreaming about -- must have thought it was the thing inside him coming to the surface and not one of rhys' own insecurities.
of course. it all makes so much sense now. jack was trying to save him.
when he pulls his hands out of his hair, there are tears on his face but he doesn't bother to stem them and instead switches views to someone else. just -- just, he had to get away from fiona. he hopes she burned his letter, hopes she can find happiness elsewhere. he doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve anyone at all. the camera settles on elizabeth after a moment and she's in the holding cells, asleep. he's shocked for a moment, really truly shocked because if she's alive... why wasn't he? what... what changed in that small gap of time that he's missing? maybe there was some sort of mistake, just a hiccup and at any moment he'll be returned to his body like nothing happened. or... or maybe -- maybe his monster was stronger? it dragged him along for so long, it kept him aware long past the point of body decay -- maybe... maybe they couldn't keep him alive? they must have tried, he thinks. why would they just let him die?
... oh god, what if he didn't deserve to be saved? jack must have had to make a choice, seeing how far gone rhys had become. rhys was truly becoming his monster at that point, right? he was the bad guy here, the one who had to be put down. that's why elizabeth still lives and he doesn't. jack saved all of them by killing him. that despair he felt at being alone, it makes sense now if he was this thing all along. jack knew and tried to spare them even more grief but his monster, oh it went out of control. maybe it's because he's -- well, he's not elizabeth. elizabeth was kind and good and did way fucking more for anyone than he ever did. maybe it's who you are that determines how... vile you become.
rhys has never been a good person and now, he's died for it.
he has to tell jack thank you. ]
a death in four parts, part four of four.
Date: 2016-07-26 02:31 am (UTC)jack killed him because he was a monster. jack is a hero. jack's always been a hero.
he sits in his chair with his arms wrapped loosely around his ankles, his cheek pressed against his knee as he watches jack on the screen. there's -- there's a trial happening and everyone is caught up once again in events. another death? some girl, rhys doesn't remember her name, doesn't bother to reach for it. instead he keeps his eyes on jack, jack who seems so peaceful in his sleep despite the hysteria. rhys could sympathize, he thinks. jack did just save the ship, kill (save) the two people who were destined to destroy everything from the inside out. trials could return to normal with nothing lurking underneath the skin of the innocent ones left until everyone can finally find their way around alice and...
maybe then they'll get to go home. he wonders if that's why he's stuck here, watching them. will he come back? will they let him come back? he's not sure if he deserves it anymore. after all, he did kill jack and helios seems so long ago now that... that rhys has to rethink it. maybe jack was trying to do the same thing there that he did here? save rhys? rhys was so blinded by his own ego that he couldn't understand his intentions, couldn't understand that jack was just trying to help. he was always just trying to help rhys, wasn't that what he said? they were a team and sometimes being part of a team means having to make the hard calls. hard calls like putting down your partner because he's gone too far.
rhys had gone so far that even fiona couldn't save him anymore. he really did deserve this, he thinks.
rhys watches as jack returns from the trial and settles in for the night. he doesn't feel much empathy for shelley, doesn't really remember why she bothered killing in the first place. she seemed so guilty, so sad over what she's done and rhys doesn't feel a thing -- just a tired sigh at the repetition. jack was so right, he thinks. he's really become what he feared -- cold and dead inside, unable to relate to those around him, unable to care for them. he was going down the wrong path the whole time and he hadn't even realized.
god, he's fucking stupid.
he feels like he should feel something when jack takes out his torn up arm but at most, he glances down to where it is now -- whole on his right side. he hasn't bothered to test the mechanics of it here, to see if his things are still accessible. what's the point? the stuff in his arm, all of his important atlas documents and blueprints, his memories of his friends, his stupid freggin' echojournal. he wonders if he could access it here, watch the logs all over again and see where he can find the exact moment he turned from... whatever he once was to whatever he is now. he's not quite sure anymore if he was a good person then but he definitely knows he's not a good person now. he hopes jack destroys it since there's no damn point to it all anymore -- or maybe, maybe he can take it as his own? rhys destroyed hyperion, jack can have atlas. rhys doesn't deserve the company any more but jack could do it so much better with it, couldn't he? he could make pandora safe like rhys was trying to... make it a place to actually live, like jack was originally doing before the vault hunters stopped him.
he's fine with watching this, watching jack take the arm apart and repurpose it for his own until suddenly, jack starts to speak. rhys' brow furrows and he can't help but pay attention, wondering what jack could possibly have on his mind right now until he realizes -- it's him. jack's talking about him, rhys. rhys' breath catches in his throat and he finally lifts his head from his legs, watching the screen with intense eyes.
he needs -- he wishes -- fuck. he finds himself unfolding from the chair and approaching the screen with outstretched arms. he listens to jack and can't help the boiling need to respond. this is the closest he's felt to the guy since... since... two weeks ago. it really has been a while, huh?
always trusting people i know i goddamn shouldn't. ]
Wait --
[ don't get it, though. it doesn't make any goddamn sense. ]
Wait.
[ he could've killed me. had plenty of chances, since i didn't think he'd screw me. ]
Wait, Jack!
[ jack's voice quiets and rhys is left clutching the screen of the video feed, eyes watering once more as he just... doesn't now quite how to process this. there's so many feelings churning in his gut and he wants to go back, wants to talk to jack, wants to -- ]
... I'm so sorry, Jack. I am so, so sorry.
[ apologize. he wants to apologize. rhys takes a step back from the screen, slowly sinking to his knees and pressing his hands to his face as the tears finally start to spill over. he hurts, he hurts so bad because at least -- at least jack didn't abandon him in the end, did he? he tried to help until he knew he couldn't help any more. he helped liz, right? because that must have been what happened, he must have been the one to pull the monster out of her but keep her alive. he must've tried the same for rhys because why wouldn't he? why wouldn't jack help him? but rhys was far too gone at that point, even fiona knew and that's why she didn't fight it. that had to be the reason why because nothing else made any sense. why would everyone just abandon him? why would no one believe him? why would fiona stay so silent? there's only one clear option here and it's because he was the bad guy and jack was the hero who was going to save the day.
the only one who didn't know this was rhys. ]