[ Her suggestion gets him to frown slightly, but it also calms him from getting upset at least slightly. Jack looks at Hawke, but his frown just deepens after he considers it, and he shakes his head. ]
Almost was. But they don't really like the whole personal side-projects thing, so that wasn't gonna work.
[ It's a rare personal moment and one that's honest, but it's also so brief and vague that it could be easily overlooked for its importance. Jack really had considered it when he had first tried to hire a Killjoy himself, but he didn't have the money for it. But the neutrality they were bound to had kept him away. That was the part he could never commit to, and he knew it. His passions were too easily sparked, and he had too much ambition to ever be satisfied sitting in the middle of the road watching people use him for their own gain.
So, instead, he had decided to take on a position where he would be able to use them. Buying a warrant was still too expensive for him, but he could easily justify the Company's dime for it now.
He walks back towards the couch where Hawke has taken up residence and sits next to her, since continuing to stand over her like a disappointed parent was weird. Weirder than sitting next to her. He thinks? God. He hates his feelings. It's why he pointedly ignores the idea that Hawke might have liked to work with him, and instead focuses back on Hawke stealing his shit. ]
...But okay. Fine. Maybe. You steal me some good stuff and maybe it'll be more okay. Not completely, because it's not- I'm not whining, screw you, but seriously, what if I'm not done with something?
[ That -- that was a much more serious of a response than she was expecting and she blinks, surprise on her face as she tries to parse out his words. There's another layer there, she knows, and her eyes stick to him as he moves over to sit on the couch with her. Her curiosity is enough to get her to sit up properly, pushing the pillow away and stare at him with open concern on her face.
But it's still Hawke and she's affectionate and still too drunk to sit upright so instead she sways a little before drooping down to drop her head against his shoulder. ]
Sometimes -- sometimes being neutral, it's a good thing. There was a -- a war. Back home. Civil war, my fault. Can't go back. So, here it's nice, not having to pick a side. You're all about sides though, eh, Jackie Boy?
[ And there's Hawke -- still an asshole, despite trying not to be an asshole for a moment. She ends up letting out a laugh and closing her eyes, tapping restless fingers against Jack's knee. She's both very sleepy and incredibly wired now and the high of giving Jack shit is wearing off so she'll probably pass out soon. Still, #worthit so she's not really too bothered. ]
You're always done with what I take. I'm not a complete jerk, I pay attention. And -- I am definitely about to fall asleep here. You should stay and nap with me.
[ Jack glances at her long enough to see that open look of concern, but he waves it off with an almost stammer. That's not quite what it is, more that little verbal tic of Jack's where his words aren't quite keeping up with the speed of his train of thought, but it shows just how quick he is to try and dismiss it. ]
I- I mean, yeah, gotta be. It's— I dunno. You don't talk about home for you any more than I talk about growing up in this craphole, but- But, I dunno. Maybe it's similar. Hard to not take a side.
[ He waves his hand a bit more vigorously, and it's clear that this is a somewhat awkward subject for him. Even that bit is more honesty than he would give to most, but it's still something he's guarded about. His ambition is dangerous, and his past that drove him to it was uncomfortable, so he's trying to avoid it. Luckily, that's easy with Hawke. She doesn't ask too many questions, and he's always liked that about her.
Though to her offer, it gets the wave of his hand to at least stop. He looks at her with a bit of surprise, since hell yeah he'd like to cuddle, but— Is that even what she's asking? Probably not. So he has to deflect with being a shithead. ]
[ And that's... it! It's almost hilariously simple how their conversations go whenever they lead to something that neither of them wants to discuss. Hawke feels queasy enough by what she shared, it lingering too close to the truth and if she was sober and less comfortable, she wouldn't have said even the little she gave.
So, she listens to his response, nods in understanding and lets herself mull over what might be for just a moment -- and then she stops. This isn't what either of them wants, she knows, so she won't push towards any discovery. Her response is a simple squeeze to Jack's knee, a nonverbal I get it.
(Which is the awful part for Hawke, much later on. She'll discover the other part of Jack that isn't this -- isn't their awkward similarities that make her delight in the friendship. No, it's that dangerous part that she can't in good conscience abide.)
Still, moment over, she grins cheerily and turns her face to press it into his shoulder. She nods in affirmation to his question and lets out a short laugh. ]
I drank too much of your expensive booze and since you wouldn't get me water, [ The problem that started all of this!! ] I'm going to drunk nap on your couch and also cuddle you, if you're not a baby about it.
[ Platonic cuddling! A Hawke specialty, even if she's still completely unaware of the fact it's not so platonic for him. ]
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 09:17 pm (UTC)Almost was. But they don't really like the whole personal side-projects thing, so that wasn't gonna work.
[ It's a rare personal moment and one that's honest, but it's also so brief and vague that it could be easily overlooked for its importance. Jack really had considered it when he had first tried to hire a Killjoy himself, but he didn't have the money for it. But the neutrality they were bound to had kept him away. That was the part he could never commit to, and he knew it. His passions were too easily sparked, and he had too much ambition to ever be satisfied sitting in the middle of the road watching people use him for their own gain.
So, instead, he had decided to take on a position where he would be able to use them. Buying a warrant was still too expensive for him, but he could easily justify the Company's dime for it now.
He walks back towards the couch where Hawke has taken up residence and sits next to her, since continuing to stand over her like a disappointed parent was weird. Weirder than sitting next to her. He thinks? God. He hates his feelings. It's why he pointedly ignores the idea that Hawke might have liked to work with him, and instead focuses back on Hawke stealing his shit. ]
...But okay. Fine. Maybe. You steal me some good stuff and maybe it'll be more okay. Not completely, because it's not- I'm not whining, screw you, but seriously, what if I'm not done with something?
no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 09:50 pm (UTC)But it's still Hawke and she's affectionate and still too drunk to sit upright so instead she sways a little before drooping down to drop her head against his shoulder. ]
Sometimes -- sometimes being neutral, it's a good thing. There was a -- a war. Back home. Civil war, my fault. Can't go back. So, here it's nice, not having to pick a side. You're all about sides though, eh, Jackie Boy?
[ And there's Hawke -- still an asshole, despite trying not to be an asshole for a moment. She ends up letting out a laugh and closing her eyes, tapping restless fingers against Jack's knee. She's both very sleepy and incredibly wired now and the high of giving Jack shit is wearing off so she'll probably pass out soon. Still, #worthit so she's not really too bothered. ]
You're always done with what I take. I'm not a complete jerk, I pay attention. And -- I am definitely about to fall asleep here. You should stay and nap with me.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-05 03:18 am (UTC)I- I mean, yeah, gotta be. It's— I dunno. You don't talk about home for you any more than I talk about growing up in this craphole, but- But, I dunno. Maybe it's similar. Hard to not take a side.
[ He waves his hand a bit more vigorously, and it's clear that this is a somewhat awkward subject for him. Even that bit is more honesty than he would give to most, but it's still something he's guarded about. His ambition is dangerous, and his past that drove him to it was uncomfortable, so he's trying to avoid it. Luckily, that's easy with Hawke. She doesn't ask too many questions, and he's always liked that about her.
Though to her offer, it gets the wave of his hand to at least stop. He looks at her with a bit of surprise, since hell yeah he'd like to cuddle, but— Is that even what she's asking? Probably not. So he has to deflect with being a shithead. ]
Didn't you just friggin' wake up?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-06 07:52 pm (UTC)So, she listens to his response, nods in understanding and lets herself mull over what might be for just a moment -- and then she stops. This isn't what either of them wants, she knows, so she won't push towards any discovery. Her response is a simple squeeze to Jack's knee, a nonverbal I get it.
(Which is the awful part for Hawke, much later on. She'll discover the other part of Jack that isn't this -- isn't their awkward similarities that make her delight in the friendship. No, it's that dangerous part that she can't in good conscience abide.)
Still, moment over, she grins cheerily and turns her face to press it into his shoulder. She nods in affirmation to his question and lets out a short laugh. ]
I drank too much of your expensive booze and since you wouldn't get me water, [ The problem that started all of this!! ] I'm going to drunk nap on your couch and also cuddle you, if you're not a baby about it.
[ Platonic cuddling! A Hawke specialty, even if she's still completely unaware of the fact it's not so platonic for him. ]