voice practice
Jun. 9th, 2016 12:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
refactortranscribing youtube for fun (???) bc he talk funny
As I'm sure you know, I'm Jack, the leader of the Hyperion Corporation. And you- are badasses. Vault hunters: the toughest warriors in all of Pandora. A commando, courageous and driven. Siren, whose wisdom is matched only by her beauty. The Gunzerker, who makes up in brute force what he lacks in subtlety. Aaand of course, the epitome of precision, the assassin. Vault hunters— I need your help. The power inside the next Vault could bring peace to Pandora. Only badasses like you can brave the horrors of Pandora and find it. Which! Is why you've gotta die.
Y'see, I just can't have some psychopathic murderers getting to the Vault before I do! I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that y'all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not. You're bandits. You're the bad guys, and I am the goddamn hero.
Welcome to Pandora.
Hahaha-haha!! I can't just have some psychopathic murderers getting to the Vault before I do. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that y'all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not.
Welcome to Pandora, kiddos.
Hey kiddo, Jack here, president of Hyperion? Lemme- Lemme explain how things work here. Vault Hunter shows up, Vault Hunter looks for the new Vault, Vault Hunter gets killed. By me. Y'see- Y'seeing the problem here? You're still alive. So if you could just do me a favor and off yourself, that'd be great. Thanks, pumpkin.
Hey—! God, these pretzels suck. How's your day been, buddy? We haven't really talked much since I left you for dead. Hey. You think you'll freeze to death out there? ...No, probably not. Bandits'll get ya first.
My day? Been pretty good. Just bought a pony made of diamonds. Yeah, because I'm rich. So. You know. That's cool. Kay, bye!
Yeah, I'm rackin' my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought... I- I was gonna call it Piss for Brains in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Hey- Maybe... Butt Stallion?
...Nah, that's even worse. I tell you what, I'll give it some more thought.
I should probably clarify, the diamond horse I been telling you about? It's not a sculpture or anything. It's a living horse that actually happens to be made of— W- Actually, I'll just, I'll go get her. Butt Stallion! [whistles] Here girl! Butt Stallion! Y-Say hello.
Yeah. Butt Stallion says hello.
Attention, people of Pandora— Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whoever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liarsburg. Oh. And I'm still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, Bandits!
Handsome Jack here, reminding you all not to worry your pretty little heads about those earthquakes. See, with every tremor, my drill gets closer to the Vault. To freedom. Order. And safety for us all. 'Cept you asshats at Sanctuary.
Look at you! Made it to Banditville, huh? Well done. Be sure and waaave when the Warrior and I fly over and burn it to the ground!
Sometimes I envy you bandits. You're so... unburdened with things like... inteligence, culture, morality, honor, ambition, good looks, I could go on, but I won't. But I could. —Ah, dignity! I almost forgot to mention dignity!
Easy, Butt Stallion! Eaaaasy...
This is a message to Sanctuary, The Last Stronghold of the Resistance. Pandora as you knew it—the chaos, the bandits—That time has passed. If ya let it, this could be an era of order... Of peace! Just turn yourselves in, and I promise. Your deaths'll be quick.
Hey, you like my speech? I was lying about the last part, by the way. I'm gonna spend a loooong time torturing you bandit scum to death. And I'll enjoy it even more because— Ah-yeah, I shouldn't say anymore. I got a little secret that I— You know what? You don't need to hear it. It'll probably just confuse ya. Ciao.
Bandits of Sanctuary! I hear a new Vault Hunter has arrived in your city, so just turn 'em in to me, and you'll be rewarded!
Hahaha— Made it to Banditville, huh? Well done! It'll be nice to see a friendly face when I'm burnin' that place to the ground. Oh, and I have decided that I will tell you my secret later on. Once you've earned it.
Y'think the Firehawks got Roland, huh? Ah, even I couldn't predict that you Vault Hunters were that desperate. I heard the Firehawk liquifies bandits and drinks 'em like flesh smoothies. But naaaah, I'm sure your bandit pal Roland's just fine. The Firehawk's definitely not melting his skin off his bones as we speak.
Lemme explain something- Even if you do rescue Roland from this Firehawk guy? The Crimson Raiders ain't exactly long for this world.
Y'know what? I think you deserve a little hint. My secret involves your pathetic resistance dying. And me laughing. Heheheh— A lot.
Oooh, you feel that? The sound of those earthquakes marks my drill getting closer and closer to the Vault! That's the sound of progress, baby.
Youuu think the Firehawk's got Roland, huh? Y'know, I heard the Firehawk liquifies bandits and drinks 'em like flesh smoothies! But nahhh, I'm sure your bandit pal Roland's just fiiine.... Of course, if Roland hadn't been such a dumbass in the first place, he would— Whoo~oops! Almost spilled the secret...!
Oh yeah, sure, I've got an offer! Hey, hang a sec- I'm sending a figure to the moon projector... Now.
So, you're trying to rescue Roland from those Bloodshot guys, huh? y'know, he can't actually help you stop me, right? I mean, he thought he was a reaaaaal badass back in New Haven, but- That didn't count for much in the end, did it?
And that's how Handsome Jack pays ransoms! Long time no see, Roland.
Be honest with yourself kid, do ya really think you can stop me? I knew you were gonna go for Roland, I'm smarter than you! I- I don't mean to condescend, that's just a fact! Oh- Oh, I'm sorry, condescend: it's a word that means talk down to. You got that, kitten?
You didn't know where Roland was, you don't know why I'm after the Vault, and you still don't know my awesome little secret. God, it's embarrassing how far behind you guys are. I- I mean, I don't wanna rub it in or anything, but- Damn.
Look at those murderous Bloodshots. Don't you think Pandora would be better without their scum? That's all I wanna do. Clean up this planet. And that means I gotta kill bandits like you? Like the Bloodshots? Like all those Crimson Raider idiots in Sanctuary? Ah, hell— I'm happy to do it.
Ohhhhhh, so lemme get this straight... Uhh, Mordecai, a staggering alcholic whose best friend is a bird, told you about some power cores on one of my impossibly guarded trains... Aaaand you went with it. Seriously. Were you Vault Hunters dropped on your heads as embryos?
Wowww! Bravo! Champagne! Cheers! High five! Sloooooow clap! You got the damn power core, didn't ya? Y'been warned. The kid gloves are comin' off. Tighten up the big boy pants, because things are going to get re- really, really bad for you Vault Hunters.
Nicely done, Angel! Now. Let's kill ourselves some Vault Hunters.
Oh- I'm- I'm, I'm sorry, was that your shields? Uh, that just went down? So you knew. That I knew. That you were gonna go for the power core, and you just- plugged it in? Even for you guys that's pretty— Man, that's really stupid. I mean, I told you! I always win!
I love the way you Vault Hunters just up and trusted Angel. Ne- Never occured to you that she was working for me, did it? I did the same thing to the last four Vault Hunters, but I'll- I'll be entirelly honest. Tricking you guys this time? Way funnier.
As I'm sure you know, I'm Jack, the leader of the Hyperion Corporation. And you- are badasses. Vault hunters: the toughest warriors in all of Pandora. A commando, courageous and driven. Siren, whose wisdom is matched only by her beauty. The Gunzerker, who makes up in brute force what he lacks in subtlety. Aaand of course, the epitome of precision, the assassin. Vault hunters— I need your help. The power inside the next Vault could bring peace to Pandora. Only badasses like you can brave the horrors of Pandora and find it. Which! Is why you've gotta die.
Y'see, I just can't have some psychopathic murderers getting to the Vault before I do! I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that y'all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not. You're bandits. You're the bad guys, and I am the goddamn hero.
Welcome to Pandora.
Hahaha-haha!! I can't just have some psychopathic murderers getting to the Vault before I do. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that y'all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not.
Welcome to Pandora, kiddos.
Hey kiddo, Jack here, president of Hyperion? Lemme- Lemme explain how things work here. Vault Hunter shows up, Vault Hunter looks for the new Vault, Vault Hunter gets killed. By me. Y'see- Y'seeing the problem here? You're still alive. So if you could just do me a favor and off yourself, that'd be great. Thanks, pumpkin.
Hey—! God, these pretzels suck. How's your day been, buddy? We haven't really talked much since I left you for dead. Hey. You think you'll freeze to death out there? ...No, probably not. Bandits'll get ya first.
My day? Been pretty good. Just bought a pony made of diamonds. Yeah, because I'm rich. So. You know. That's cool. Kay, bye!
Yeah, I'm rackin' my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought... I- I was gonna call it Piss for Brains in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Hey- Maybe... Butt Stallion?
...Nah, that's even worse. I tell you what, I'll give it some more thought.
I should probably clarify, the diamond horse I been telling you about? It's not a sculpture or anything. It's a living horse that actually happens to be made of— W- Actually, I'll just, I'll go get her. Butt Stallion! [whistles] Here girl! Butt Stallion! Y-Say hello.
Yeah. Butt Stallion says hello.
Attention, people of Pandora— Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whoever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liarsburg. Oh. And I'm still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, Bandits!
Handsome Jack here, reminding you all not to worry your pretty little heads about those earthquakes. See, with every tremor, my drill gets closer to the Vault. To freedom. Order. And safety for us all. 'Cept you asshats at Sanctuary.
Look at you! Made it to Banditville, huh? Well done. Be sure and waaave when the Warrior and I fly over and burn it to the ground!
Sometimes I envy you bandits. You're so... unburdened with things like... inteligence, culture, morality, honor, ambition, good looks, I could go on, but I won't. But I could. —Ah, dignity! I almost forgot to mention dignity!
Easy, Butt Stallion! Eaaaasy...
This is a message to Sanctuary, The Last Stronghold of the Resistance. Pandora as you knew it—the chaos, the bandits—That time has passed. If ya let it, this could be an era of order... Of peace! Just turn yourselves in, and I promise. Your deaths'll be quick.
Hey, you like my speech? I was lying about the last part, by the way. I'm gonna spend a loooong time torturing you bandit scum to death. And I'll enjoy it even more because— Ah-yeah, I shouldn't say anymore. I got a little secret that I— You know what? You don't need to hear it. It'll probably just confuse ya. Ciao.
Bandits of Sanctuary! I hear a new Vault Hunter has arrived in your city, so just turn 'em in to me, and you'll be rewarded!
Hahaha— Made it to Banditville, huh? Well done! It'll be nice to see a friendly face when I'm burnin' that place to the ground. Oh, and I have decided that I will tell you my secret later on. Once you've earned it.
Y'think the Firehawks got Roland, huh? Ah, even I couldn't predict that you Vault Hunters were that desperate. I heard the Firehawk liquifies bandits and drinks 'em like flesh smoothies. But naaaah, I'm sure your bandit pal Roland's just fine. The Firehawk's definitely not melting his skin off his bones as we speak.
Lemme explain something- Even if you do rescue Roland from this Firehawk guy? The Crimson Raiders ain't exactly long for this world.
Y'know what? I think you deserve a little hint. My secret involves your pathetic resistance dying. And me laughing. Heheheh— A lot.
Oooh, you feel that? The sound of those earthquakes marks my drill getting closer and closer to the Vault! That's the sound of progress, baby.
Youuu think the Firehawk's got Roland, huh? Y'know, I heard the Firehawk liquifies bandits and drinks 'em like flesh smoothies! But nahhh, I'm sure your bandit pal Roland's just fiiine.... Of course, if Roland hadn't been such a dumbass in the first place, he would— Whoo~oops! Almost spilled the secret...!
Oh yeah, sure, I've got an offer! Hey, hang a sec- I'm sending a figure to the moon projector... Now.
So, you're trying to rescue Roland from those Bloodshot guys, huh? y'know, he can't actually help you stop me, right? I mean, he thought he was a reaaaaal badass back in New Haven, but- That didn't count for much in the end, did it?
And that's how Handsome Jack pays ransoms! Long time no see, Roland.
Be honest with yourself kid, do ya really think you can stop me? I knew you were gonna go for Roland, I'm smarter than you! I- I don't mean to condescend, that's just a fact! Oh- Oh, I'm sorry, condescend: it's a word that means talk down to. You got that, kitten?
You didn't know where Roland was, you don't know why I'm after the Vault, and you still don't know my awesome little secret. God, it's embarrassing how far behind you guys are. I- I mean, I don't wanna rub it in or anything, but- Damn.
Look at those murderous Bloodshots. Don't you think Pandora would be better without their scum? That's all I wanna do. Clean up this planet. And that means I gotta kill bandits like you? Like the Bloodshots? Like all those Crimson Raider idiots in Sanctuary? Ah, hell— I'm happy to do it.
Ohhhhhh, so lemme get this straight... Uhh, Mordecai, a staggering alcholic whose best friend is a bird, told you about some power cores on one of my impossibly guarded trains... Aaaand you went with it. Seriously. Were you Vault Hunters dropped on your heads as embryos?
Wowww! Bravo! Champagne! Cheers! High five! Sloooooow clap! You got the damn power core, didn't ya? Y'been warned. The kid gloves are comin' off. Tighten up the big boy pants, because things are going to get re- really, really bad for you Vault Hunters.
Nicely done, Angel! Now. Let's kill ourselves some Vault Hunters.
Oh- I'm- I'm, I'm sorry, was that your shields? Uh, that just went down? So you knew. That I knew. That you were gonna go for the power core, and you just- plugged it in? Even for you guys that's pretty— Man, that's really stupid. I mean, I told you! I always win!
I love the way you Vault Hunters just up and trusted Angel. Ne- Never occured to you that she was working for me, did it? I did the same thing to the last four Vault Hunters, but I'll- I'll be entirelly honest. Tricking you guys this time? Way funnier.
