[ His expression twists up in anger. It's barely any time at all before that new, metal fist swings out and crashes against the mirror. It cracks underneath his fist across the entire surface, and several small pieces fall out to clatter against the counter when he pulls his fist away. He looks furious, and it's the kind of look that would send fear down anyone's spine if they were the one staring at it, but it's only his own, cracked face looking back. ]
No—
[ Jack starts out with a shaky breath, and he laughs. It feels like he's watching himself much more than he's feeling now, and so he sees how his eyes grow glassy until tears spill over. It seems distant, because he doesn't feel it happen at all, but his words grow more vehement. ]
No, no, no, this is not the end. I- I know it.
[ He sounds so certain of himself and so assured, and it gets him to laugh in that way that's worryingly manic. For everything he's learned in the past week, he feels all the more sure of it, but it means that there's a sinister truth underneath it all. So by saying this, he has to accept it. He has to accept that this isn't real in some way. Whatever the truth was, if he accepts that possibility, it closes doors for him. No matter which details make it up, they all end in the same truth, and that's the idea that this ship is a prison that he can't escape. Just like the ECHO drive, he's trapped. And if he's trapped, all his dreams, all of Handsome Jack's dreams will die, because there's no way for him to bring his paradise if there's nothing for him to return to.
It's so much grief all mixed together that he couldn't even say what he's shedding tears for here. It's Elizabeth, it's himself, it's his hopes, because they all mix together in a way that Jack feels he understands. Even so, that grief isn't despair. He laughs, because the grief, the accepting of the possibility that even if he were to do as asked, it might not mean a thing, it's hilarious. It's ironic in a way that feels cruel, but at least in this, he can also realize something else.
Here, he's not alone. ]
It's- It's that friggin' game. They're all-- Liz, Rhys, they're not— If Hancock can send that message, then they have to be somewhere. That data, who they are, it's not-- Just gone.
[ Jack laughs again, shaking his head, and he looks to the shower, or more specifically, the water. ]
I'll find them. I can find them, because Al-- Hey, Al, I know you're listening, because you're always listening, aren't you? You said you strove to know what I know, remember? Qualia, physicality, purpose, all of that bullshit. I'd- I'd give it to you, you know that? You've had every goddamn chance to just take over this body, but no, that's not what you want. You want something else. You want to keep me out. Because-- [ The thought is broken with a laugh ] You know I'll tear this whole fucking ship apart. I'll kill myself to kill you. You know that.
[ He steps back, letting the pieces of the mirror lay where they fall. He just ends up turning his head again to look at himself, but backs up until his back hits the wall. Jack just laughs, the sort of insane cackling that's probably only just barely drowned out by the shower and the music. ]
Aaaliiice... [ His tone is mocking, and unintentionally, it parallels the way that an alien had said her name weeks ago. ] I'm going to find them. I'm going to find out what the fuck is going on here. And then? I'm going to kill you. Even if I die, I don't give a shit. I'll wipe every fucking bit of your existence out. I'll break your sentience while you beg for me to stop. That's-- That is what a goddamn hero does.
[ His tone is harsh and raw, but it breaks into more laughter as Jack just slowly sinks to sit on the tile of the floor. He ends up sighing out a noise of exhaustion as the laughter finally dies down and those tears of frustration and grief start to slow, but he looks up at the ceiling again. This time, his voice is quiet, almost a murmur. ]
I'll save them. I'll save... all of them. Even if they have to die first, it's-- just data.
[ see, the problem here is rhys knows jack. at this point? he really fucking knows him despite how messed up his perception has become. so rhys, ever faithful, watched jack and jason discover liz's body and stuck with watching jack until elizabeth found him later, after she arrived.
it left rhys unsettled, a bit more hollow and chiseled away in a way he couldn't quite handle. he wasn't sure how much of this he could take, how much more watching he could do before things took a real toll on him, made his psyche truly shatter beyond repair (not that he'd realized yet just how far gone he's become, that's not till much later -- if ever).
he missed jack, like an ache in his chest that he couldn't fill and just watching him wasn't helping anymore -- not with the specter of rhys' mistake lingering just outside with the rest of them. he wanted to talk to elizabeth again, to make her understand what he meant, what his side of the story was and how wrong he was about... everything, but he wasn't sure if she'd listen.
so, he continues to watch jack.
it's when jack retires for the night that rhys suddenly starts paying attention to the feed again. his arms wrapped around his knees and head tucked into his body while his eyes fixate on the monitor. he knew jack's reaction to elizabeth's death was... subtle, excepted a reaction later -- to jason, maybe? he didn't think so, didn't think jack trusted jason enough for that even if jason was so equally effected by the death. so, he must have been keeping it to himself, must have been saving it for later -- that's what rhys thought.
for a moment, rhys doesn't want to do anything. he watches jack leave jason's side and take the trip to his room and --
rhys bolts.
he has to find elizabeth, he thinks. quickly because he doesn't want her to miss this. if she can just see what rhys has seen, especially when it's so related to her? he knows this would help him, help prove his point. jack was trying to help her this entire time, and her rejecting his help was cruel. elizabeth didn't know what she had, didn't know what it was that she was giving up and maybe now rhys can... show her, can show her the truth.
and if she accepts it, maybe rhys can kill her. he hasn't yet decided.
so, wherever elizabeth so happens to be, she'll see rhys run up to her frantically before grabbing at her wrist with his robot hand and taking off back to the shack. he'll ignore any of her protests, using the slight strength there to make sure she comes with him and to explain why they're running, he bites out -- ]
It's Jack! You have to see this, you have to.
[ and hopefully that's enough because when they burst into the shack and return to the monitor, jack is just beginning to speak. rhys will let go of elizabeth then, running both of his hands through his hair as he settles, something in him just finally feeling at rest at jack's very, very insane babbling. rhys is too... off, too broken to really understand the nature of this, it being relayed to him in such a way that he keeps justifying it to himself.
jack thinks so much, he can't keep it inside. jack's brain works too quickly, this is a result of that. jack's so smart, he's already figured it all out. jack's going to save them all, he's the hero of this story.
rhys falls back into his chair and lets out a sigh of relief, body relaxing fully for once as he watches jack rant into the mirror about math and alien and everything else. he props his head up on his elbow, lets jack's breakdown play out in front of them and isn't even surprised when jack falls silent.
he isn't even surprised when jack breaks the mirror.
(there is one twist to his expression during this, one little jerk of his eyes from the monitor to elizabeth when he hears jack say it. the one goddamn person i give a shit about. his mouth curls into something ugly and his free hand clenches in his lap but a moment later, his expression falls neutral, placid. he continues to watch.)
in fact, as jack starts up again and finally, finally pieces it together -- rhys smiles, content. rhys' eyes fall shut when he hears jack says his name and it feels good, like there's hope for him yet -- someone as disgusting, as vile as rhys, to still be considered by jack? he's not unworthy, he's not.
jack begins to yell at alice and rhys doesn't pay much attention because what he needed elizabeth to see was this, was jack's heroism coming out in full force. can't she see now? doesn't she understand? handsome jack is going to save them all, just like he saved rhys. he has to tell her this.
when jack finishes, rhys' eyes open up again and he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at elizabeth. he catches a glance of jack again, the man is crying and rhys' heart twists but he knows there's nothing he can do. no, right now all he can do is talk to elizabeth again. ]
See? He's our hero. He's going to save us.
[ and that's all rhys has to say before he smiles again and leans back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest as if he's just proved a point. as if he's just, finally, shown elizabeth the truth. ]
[ Elizabeth wanted to be alone. Not in the way that Rhys had been. Not with the hopelessness that he felt inside but in hopes of peace. In hopes that she can deal with her feelings - her longing for Jason, her worry for Yuno and Luke - it was silly but he ruins that. He's quick to come to her with hope on his face, of course, it's because of Jack. Something Jack had done. She's not sure she can stomach it but he hurts her when his hand snaps against her wrist. She protests, screaming at him and batting his arm only to find her struggle useless. They're back to in front of the monitors before she can guess and all she sees is Jack in his madness.
He stews, exploding in a fit of frustration and it's bittersweet. Elizabeth's eyes dart from screen to screen - watching the different expressions and angles of his features twisting. She both hates that she made him feel this way and feels uncomfortable by the sudden self-motivation. Hearing him talk so vividly about being a hero - as if she's just some maiden needing to be saved. As if this was some obligation that he needs to do - not because it's right, but because he's the only hero here.
Elizabeth feels so uncomfortable watching the vulgarities and seeing his expression change. Grief, sadness, anger, frustration. ]
No.. that's not -
[ Had her death triggered this? Truly? Elizabeth believes Jack to be of many things, but this - she never has seen this motivation on such a forward, bold level. It makes her breath quicken and her thoughts conflicted. It pains her to know she caused this and she'll glance at Rhys every so often, watching as he just... idolizes him. Elizabeth takes a step back, shaking her head. ]
He's not a hero because he - because he has a personal stake in this now... [ She honestly feels this is a man snapped, who knows his last chance to revive Angel was gone. That's all she can think of. The motive this week - it means nothing because he's not the one who killed her. Angel won't be revived. Elizabeth's eyes shut and a few heavy tears roll down her cheek soon after. ] I don't want to be here. I don't -
He can't erase the things he's done just because he's doing ask I asked for him to - to save them.
[ At this point, she has no clue if he's seen her letters, but Elizabeth turns her back to Rhys, feeling as if she's talking to a brick wall. She feels more alone than ever. ]
...Let him be your hero, but he's not mine.
[ And with that, Elizabeth exits with a soft cry. ]
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no subject
No—
[ Jack starts out with a shaky breath, and he laughs. It feels like he's watching himself much more than he's feeling now, and so he sees how his eyes grow glassy until tears spill over. It seems distant, because he doesn't feel it happen at all, but his words grow more vehement. ]
No, no, no, this is not the end. I- I know it.
[ He sounds so certain of himself and so assured, and it gets him to laugh in that way that's worryingly manic. For everything he's learned in the past week, he feels all the more sure of it, but it means that there's a sinister truth underneath it all. So by saying this, he has to accept it. He has to accept that this isn't real in some way. Whatever the truth was, if he accepts that possibility, it closes doors for him. No matter which details make it up, they all end in the same truth, and that's the idea that this ship is a prison that he can't escape. Just like the ECHO drive, he's trapped. And if he's trapped, all his dreams, all of Handsome Jack's dreams will die, because there's no way for him to bring his paradise if there's nothing for him to return to.
It's so much grief all mixed together that he couldn't even say what he's shedding tears for here. It's Elizabeth, it's himself, it's his hopes, because they all mix together in a way that Jack feels he understands. Even so, that grief isn't despair. He laughs, because the grief, the accepting of the possibility that even if he were to do as asked, it might not mean a thing, it's hilarious. It's ironic in a way that feels cruel, but at least in this, he can also realize something else.
Here, he's not alone. ]
It's- It's that friggin' game. They're all-- Liz, Rhys, they're not— If Hancock can send that message, then they have to be somewhere. That data, who they are, it's not-- Just gone.
[ Jack laughs again, shaking his head, and he looks to the shower, or more specifically, the water. ]
I'll find them. I can find them, because Al-- Hey, Al, I know you're listening, because you're always listening, aren't you? You said you strove to know what I know, remember? Qualia, physicality, purpose, all of that bullshit. I'd- I'd give it to you, you know that? You've had every goddamn chance to just take over this body, but no, that's not what you want. You want something else. You want to keep me out. Because-- [ The thought is broken with a laugh ] You know I'll tear this whole fucking ship apart. I'll kill myself to kill you. You know that.
[ He steps back, letting the pieces of the mirror lay where they fall. He just ends up turning his head again to look at himself, but backs up until his back hits the wall. Jack just laughs, the sort of insane cackling that's probably only just barely drowned out by the shower and the music. ]
Aaaliiice... [ His tone is mocking, and unintentionally, it parallels the way that an alien had said her name weeks ago. ] I'm going to find them. I'm going to find out what the fuck is going on here. And then? I'm going to kill you. Even if I die, I don't give a shit. I'll wipe every fucking bit of your existence out. I'll break your sentience while you beg for me to stop. That's-- That is what a goddamn hero does.
[ His tone is harsh and raw, but it breaks into more laughter as Jack just slowly sinks to sit on the tile of the floor. He ends up sighing out a noise of exhaustion as the laughter finally dies down and those tears of frustration and grief start to slow, but he looks up at the ceiling again. This time, his voice is quiet, almost a murmur. ]
I'll save them. I'll save... all of them. Even if they have to die first, it's-- just data.
1/2
there was an argument.
it left rhys unsettled, a bit more hollow and chiseled away in a way he couldn't quite handle. he wasn't sure how much of this he could take, how much more watching he could do before things took a real toll on him, made his psyche truly shatter beyond repair (not that he'd realized yet just how far gone he's become, that's not till much later -- if ever).
he missed jack, like an ache in his chest that he couldn't fill and just watching him wasn't helping anymore -- not with the specter of rhys' mistake lingering just outside with the rest of them. he wanted to talk to elizabeth again, to make her understand what he meant, what his side of the story was and how wrong he was about... everything, but he wasn't sure if she'd listen.
so, he continues to watch jack.
it's when jack retires for the night that rhys suddenly starts paying attention to the feed again. his arms wrapped around his knees and head tucked into his body while his eyes fixate on the monitor. he knew jack's reaction to elizabeth's death was... subtle, excepted a reaction later -- to jason, maybe? he didn't think so, didn't think jack trusted jason enough for that even if jason was so equally effected by the death. so, he must have been keeping it to himself, must have been saving it for later -- that's what rhys thought.
for a moment, rhys doesn't want to do anything. he watches jack leave jason's side and take the trip to his room and --
rhys bolts.
he has to find elizabeth, he thinks. quickly because he doesn't want her to miss this. if she can just see what rhys has seen, especially when it's so related to her? he knows this would help him, help prove his point. jack was trying to help her this entire time, and her rejecting his help was cruel. elizabeth didn't know what she had, didn't know what it was that she was giving up and maybe now rhys can... show her, can show her the truth.
and if she accepts it, maybe rhys can kill her. he hasn't yet decided.
so, wherever elizabeth so happens to be, she'll see rhys run up to her frantically before grabbing at her wrist with his robot hand and taking off back to the shack. he'll ignore any of her protests, using the slight strength there to make sure she comes with him and to explain why they're running, he bites out -- ]
It's Jack! You have to see this, you have to.
[ and hopefully that's enough because when they burst into the shack and return to the monitor, jack is just beginning to speak. rhys will let go of elizabeth then, running both of his hands through his hair as he settles, something in him just finally feeling at rest at jack's very, very insane babbling. rhys is too... off, too broken to really understand the nature of this, it being relayed to him in such a way that he keeps justifying it to himself.
jack thinks so much, he can't keep it inside. jack's brain works too quickly, this is a result of that. jack's so smart, he's already figured it all out. jack's going to save them all, he's the hero of this story.
rhys falls back into his chair and lets out a sigh of relief, body relaxing fully for once as he watches jack rant into the mirror about math and alien and everything else. he props his head up on his elbow, lets jack's breakdown play out in front of them and isn't even surprised when jack falls silent.
he isn't even surprised when jack breaks the mirror.
(there is one twist to his expression during this, one little jerk of his eyes from the monitor to elizabeth when he hears jack say it. the one goddamn person i give a shit about. his mouth curls into something ugly and his free hand clenches in his lap but a moment later, his expression falls neutral, placid. he continues to watch.)
in fact, as jack starts up again and finally, finally pieces it together -- rhys smiles, content. rhys' eyes fall shut when he hears jack says his name and it feels good, like there's hope for him yet -- someone as disgusting, as vile as rhys, to still be considered by jack? he's not unworthy, he's not.
jack begins to yell at alice and rhys doesn't pay much attention because what he needed elizabeth to see was this, was jack's heroism coming out in full force. can't she see now? doesn't she understand? handsome jack is going to save them all, just like he saved rhys. he has to tell her this.
when jack finishes, rhys' eyes open up again and he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at elizabeth. he catches a glance of jack again, the man is crying and rhys' heart twists but he knows there's nothing he can do. no, right now all he can do is talk to elizabeth again. ]
See? He's our hero. He's going to save us.
[ and that's all rhys has to say before he smiles again and leans back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest as if he's just proved a point. as if he's just, finally, shown elizabeth the truth. ]
2/2
He stews, exploding in a fit of frustration and it's bittersweet. Elizabeth's eyes dart from screen to screen - watching the different expressions and angles of his features twisting. She both hates that she made him feel this way and feels uncomfortable by the sudden self-motivation. Hearing him talk so vividly about being a hero - as if she's just some maiden needing to be saved. As if this was some obligation that he needs to do - not because it's right, but because he's the only hero here.
Elizabeth feels so uncomfortable watching the vulgarities and seeing his expression change. Grief, sadness, anger, frustration. ]
No.. that's not -
[ Had her death triggered this? Truly? Elizabeth believes Jack to be of many things, but this - she never has seen this motivation on such a forward, bold level. It makes her breath quicken and her thoughts conflicted. It pains her to know she caused this and she'll glance at Rhys every so often, watching as he just... idolizes him. Elizabeth takes a step back, shaking her head. ]
He's not a hero because he - because he has a personal stake in this now... [ She honestly feels this is a man snapped, who knows his last chance to revive Angel was gone. That's all she can think of. The motive this week - it means nothing because he's not the one who killed her. Angel won't be revived. Elizabeth's eyes shut and a few heavy tears roll down her cheek soon after. ] I don't want to be here. I don't -
He can't erase the things he's done just because he's doing ask I asked for him to - to save them.
[ At this point, she has no clue if he's seen her letters, but Elizabeth turns her back to Rhys, feeling as if she's talking to a brick wall. She feels more alone than ever. ]
...Let him be your hero, but he's not mine.
[ And with that, Elizabeth exits with a soft cry. ]