[ The confusion at least leaves Jack's face for the most part. Of course, some still remains, since Jack is reminded of their proximity when Rhys brushes against his legs, for one, but it lingers because of what Rhys actually says. It doesn't look like Jack really agrees, but it's hard to tell what he's thinking, considering how a silence lingers a bit longer than it tends to with Jack. But after he seems to come to his answer here, his expression smooths out, though it's serious.
That might be worrying, since that's never quite a good thing to see from Jack, but his answer is... surprisingly honest. ]
...No, you can't, kiddo. It ruins the image.
[ He pauses again, almost like he's considering leaving it at that, but he ends up elaborating just a little more. ]
Let me tell you something here: to do what I do, you've gotta be untouchable. No one can see you so much as sweat. Show one piece of weakness, and someone-- Someone's gonna take advantage of that.
[ Jack seems to be choosing his words very carefully here, and there's definitely that kind of intensity again where he's clearly measuring Rhys's reactions. It's easy to read by now, though. This is how he always is when he feels that he's opening up in some way. ]
So I'm Handsome Jack, not just Jack or-- John. I've got the mask, 'cause no one can see the fact that someone made me bleed. That's- Y'know, that's what being at the top means, Rhys. There's people waiting to knock you down. If I'm sensitive or if I feel anything? I better not show it. It's ammunition. Plain and simple.
[ But for the last part, it's when Jack's gaze is the most intense. It's where it borders on being uncomfortable, since it's the sort of tension where it's hard to tell whether Jack is a hair away from murder, or if it's just how he expresses his seriousness in every situation. ]
And hope you understand. I'm trusting you with that.
[ for a moment, rhys thinks he made a mistake. it was just something that came out of him, without really thinking. he sort of... forgets, which is pretty obvious by now, that jack isn't just a morally dubious dude but actually one of the worst human beings in a century. it makes him slip and say things like "you can kill people and still have feelings" which... he will admit, is his own over-identifying of the situation.
he's killed people. he feels things.
right now, he feels a slight fear run up his spine at the thought he may have made a mistake here -- but also a curiosity, a genuine feeling of affection for jack. he wonders how much work it must take to put on such an image, wonders how much of what rhys knows about him is the image and how much isn't. it... makes rhys feel ill for a moment, like all this time he'd been pursuing a closeness with handsome jack instead of ... jack. or john.
... was he? was he really so shallow? ]
You can trust me.
[ his instincts are there, screaming at him with each word, telling him to go back, to leave this bed and try his very best to put more distance between jack and him. this isn't keeping jack happy so he doesn't kill rhys anymore, this is rhys wanting to make up for what happened -- this is rhys wanting to rewrite history. maybe here he could have jack like he wanted to so badly at home? maybe here, helios won't have to happen again? ]
And I'm sorry too. I guess I never really thought about all the effort you put into what you put out there? It always just seemed so you -- like there was nothing else but what you wanted everyone to see and I don't know. [ he shrugs a little helplessly, looking down towards their hands with a slight frown. ] I guess I thought that was pretty cool.
[ then he's silent for a moment, as if that's all he's got to say to jack here -- that he was shallow and saw nothing else but, after a moment, he shakes his head and does something pretty weird. he... smiles at jack, a small one, genuine and soft as he looks at jack. the room is dark, just barely enough light from rhys' eye and the ship outside of the room to show the reflection of each other's faces. rhys' hair falls in his face and over the pillow but he doesn't bother to brush it out, to push it back, instead he just enjoys the warmth radiating off of jack as he speaks again. ]
... But I think I like this Jack better? I know the logic, Jack. I'm not a dumbass. You have things you want to protect, to keep safe from ... everything else, so why would you let the world know who else you are under the mask? Uh, both literally and figuratively. People suck, the whole universe sucks. There's only like, a few people out there who are decent at all so... why does everyone else get to see you? Fuck that. But -- but this Jack -- the one I've met over the past few weeks, the one I'm laying here with right now? He's way cooler, I think, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him more.
[ Jack interjects in that brief silence with that much, since he can guess some of Rhys's thoughts here. That's not exactly something new, but it hasn't been common. After Elpis, Jack had closed himself off in a way that he didn't always like. Part of it was intentional, because it's exactly what he's talking about here, but there was just as much that wasn't. It's the way he gets wrapped up in his grand plan for the universe and how he sees a dagger in every hand waiting for his back as a result. So, really, only a few people had ever managed to see beyond Jack's mask, both physical and metaphorical.
He looked doubtful when Rhys asserted that Jack could trust him, as Rhys explains, that expression softens. Jack doesn't give his trust easily, and that's something that Rhys know better than Jack thinks, but it's almost a physical thing as he gives at least a small piece of it.
That's the thing about Jack, though. There aren't many people that can avoid getting wrapped up in Jack. He has a naturally magnetic personality, and it's what elevated him to the sort of cult-like devotion that was so unique to Hyperion, but even individually, when he's laying here having a moment of openness with another person, it's the same sort of thing. Jack isn't a liar, because every word he says is a truth or something he believes so strongly that it might as well be. He's genuine in a frightening way, because it's so easy to forget that there's so much of Jack that's completely divorced from other parts of him.
So that trust doesn't mean that Rhys is safe. In fact, it's so much more dangerous, and that's why every person that's seen beyond that mask has ended up dead. ]
You-- [ Jack starts to respond once Rhys has said his piece, but it comes with a laugh. ] I mean, to be honest here, you keep surprisin' me, Rhys.
[ Jack pauses, then shifts slightly closer. Usually he'd probably be at least a little more smooth here, but the handcuff and their proximity makes that less than elegant. The hand that's uncuffed at least comes up to Rhys's neck, but that's to help angle both of their heads here. As such, Rhys can probably guess what's coming next here and pull back if he wants, but really, Jack doesn't think that'll be the case, considering Rhys...
He kisses Rhys, and it's both brief and tender rather than the sort of aggressive that might seem to suit Jack better. After all, what Rhys says is bolstering and supporting Jack in ways that he might not have expected to, but also in those ways that aren't exactly good. But it's absolutely what Jack craves and appreciates, and at least for the moment, he thinks that something physical is a better way to convey that than through words.
After all, as he pulls back again, he proves that he's not actually smooth or a wordsmith. ]
[ this isn't the first time rhys has thought about kissing jack. he never really left himself indulge for more than a moment though because handsome jack was still more of an icon, a hero, than an actual human being. now though, things are a little different. when jack was in his head, he was kicked off his pedestal. when jack is at his side, he's brought to rhys' level.
on some level, rhys is aware of how bad this is, of how quickly it can turn into something that he can't handle -- that's how it always works with jack, right? every story from every person who got even a smidgen close to him. that's why no one really survives jack, not really. rhys though, he's naive and he wants so desperately to believe the lie that when jack moves in to kiss him, he doesn't back off.
his hands curl in jack's shirt, pressing in close to meet his mouth and feeling an odd but satisfying sensation as he feels the brush of the scar against his skin. it's still so cool, being this close to jack and this ... accepted? wanted? by him. rhys feels so jubilant in this moment, more than he's felt since jack smiled at him in his office and told him he was proud of him. this is better, this is a physical thing along with an emotional. it makes rhys feel whole.
when they break apart, rhys lets out a kind of breathy laugh, forehead pressed against jack's and not trying to move away this time. he grins, meeting jack's gaze in response and tries to squash the urge to kiss him again. not... yet, not now, but soon. ]
Nnnnot quite how I expected the night to go, gotta say. Thought you didn't want to make it that gay?
[ he curls closer, taking up more that little amount of space between them. his ankle slides against jack's and he lets out a pleased sigh, feeling... oddly relaxed now. he's accepted it, accepted how bad this is just how much he still wants it. it's fine, he thinks. it's completely fine. ]
Glad you -- [ he pauses, interrupting himself with a yawn and his eyes fall shut for a moment ] Glad you did though. I really like you -- different than the whole admiration thing. Just, y'know, you yourself. I really like that part of you and m'glad you finally believe me. I'll keep, [ another yawn here ] proving it if I have to, Jack.
[ it's said in a sleepy, content tone -- voice a soft mumble because in this moment, rhys is completely happy. surrounded by jack like this and given his affection, rhys doesn't want to be anywhere else in the universe. ]
Ha ha hah. [ That is absolutely a forced, sarcastic, and flat laugh. ] Least I'll remember your name, dickhead.
[ He gets a little defensive, but not nearly as bad as it could be. Considering he's the one that initiated that part, he can't really deny that it's pretty gay, but he also doesn't actually care too much about that part. Or at least, not as much as he was conveying, since that too is a way for him to keep a bit of distance. Jack keeps very nearly everyone at arm's length, since he has problems trusting people enough for any kind of intimacy. Even now, it's not completely there, not even close, but—
Jack shifts all the same to hold Rhys comfortably in his-- Well, ideally, this would be in his arms, but the cuff makes it a little more awkward. Still. It's close, even intimate, and he doesn't mind that at all. He absolutely prefers the comfort of having someone else sleep next to him, though he'd also never ask for it. And considering the sort of task he's been given here? It's more comforting than he would have expected to feel able to extend even this small bit of trust. It's physical, and even that much is no small matter for Jack.
Though for how he feels, that's something else entirely. Because even now, as he shifts and settles down, he's not sure what that is. It's appreciation for Rhys's admiration and loyalty, but the part Jack isn't aware enough of himself to recognize is that that trust comes more from the fact that Rhys is bolstering his ego and his beliefs. Jack's definitions of trust and betrayal are both very different from everyone else's, since both exist in a very black and white context. Agree with Jack, and he trusts you. Disagree with Jack, and you're a traitor. Both are far simpler than they seem, but that simplicity is part of what made Jack the monster he is.
Unfortunately, that's a harsh truth about Jack that Rhys will rediscover.
But for now, Jack doesn't think on what he feels here. Maybe it's just too late to think on it, which is what he decides on when he catches an infectious yawn. He finally relaxes too and gets them tangled further together to fall asleep. Considering the kiss, there's no need to hide that he's clingy, as if that's a surprise... ]
But, c'mon. Didn't even realize how goddamn little I've been sleeping lately.
[ More than Rhys knows and understands, but he's genuinely too tired to have his paranoia flare up. This is a good thing, since that would absolutely get him to back off. Without it, Jack just closes his eyes, just barely keeping the contact between their foreheads. It's super gay. ]
[ But not as bad as the fact that at some point in the night, they will absolutely end up spooning again and Jack will kiss his neck and mutter something about Nisha sucking his dick. That's canon now. Jack will not remember this, in fact. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That might be worrying, since that's never quite a good thing to see from Jack, but his answer is... surprisingly honest. ]
...No, you can't, kiddo. It ruins the image.
[ He pauses again, almost like he's considering leaving it at that, but he ends up elaborating just a little more. ]
Let me tell you something here: to do what I do, you've gotta be untouchable. No one can see you so much as sweat. Show one piece of weakness, and someone-- Someone's gonna take advantage of that.
[ Jack seems to be choosing his words very carefully here, and there's definitely that kind of intensity again where he's clearly measuring Rhys's reactions. It's easy to read by now, though. This is how he always is when he feels that he's opening up in some way. ]
So I'm Handsome Jack, not just Jack or-- John. I've got the mask, 'cause no one can see the fact that someone made me bleed. That's- Y'know, that's what being at the top means, Rhys. There's people waiting to knock you down. If I'm sensitive or if I feel anything? I better not show it. It's ammunition. Plain and simple.
[ But for the last part, it's when Jack's gaze is the most intense. It's where it borders on being uncomfortable, since it's the sort of tension where it's hard to tell whether Jack is a hair away from murder, or if it's just how he expresses his seriousness in every situation. ]
And hope you understand. I'm trusting you with that.
no subject
he's killed people. he feels things.
right now, he feels a slight fear run up his spine at the thought he may have made a mistake here -- but also a curiosity, a genuine feeling of affection for jack. he wonders how much work it must take to put on such an image, wonders how much of what rhys knows about him is the image and how much isn't. it... makes rhys feel ill for a moment, like all this time he'd been pursuing a closeness with handsome jack instead of ... jack. or john.
... was he? was he really so shallow? ]
You can trust me.
[ his instincts are there, screaming at him with each word, telling him to go back, to leave this bed and try his very best to put more distance between jack and him. this isn't keeping jack happy so he doesn't kill rhys anymore, this is rhys wanting to make up for what happened -- this is rhys wanting to rewrite history. maybe here he could have jack like he wanted to so badly at home? maybe here, helios won't have to happen again? ]
And I'm sorry too. I guess I never really thought about all the effort you put into what you put out there? It always just seemed so you -- like there was nothing else but what you wanted everyone to see and I don't know. [ he shrugs a little helplessly, looking down towards their hands with a slight frown. ] I guess I thought that was pretty cool.
[ then he's silent for a moment, as if that's all he's got to say to jack here -- that he was shallow and saw nothing else but, after a moment, he shakes his head and does something pretty weird. he... smiles at jack, a small one, genuine and soft as he looks at jack. the room is dark, just barely enough light from rhys' eye and the ship outside of the room to show the reflection of each other's faces. rhys' hair falls in his face and over the pillow but he doesn't bother to brush it out, to push it back, instead he just enjoys the warmth radiating off of jack as he speaks again. ]
... But I think I like this Jack better? I know the logic, Jack. I'm not a dumbass. You have things you want to protect, to keep safe from ... everything else, so why would you let the world know who else you are under the mask? Uh, both literally and figuratively. People suck, the whole universe sucks. There's only like, a few people out there who are decent at all so... why does everyone else get to see you? Fuck that. But -- but this Jack -- the one I've met over the past few weeks, the one I'm laying here with right now? He's way cooler, I think, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him more.
[ and then he turns sheepish for a moment. ]
I mean, uh, if that's okay with you and all.
this thread needs holy water
[ Jack interjects in that brief silence with that much, since he can guess some of Rhys's thoughts here. That's not exactly something new, but it hasn't been common. After Elpis, Jack had closed himself off in a way that he didn't always like. Part of it was intentional, because it's exactly what he's talking about here, but there was just as much that wasn't. It's the way he gets wrapped up in his grand plan for the universe and how he sees a dagger in every hand waiting for his back as a result. So, really, only a few people had ever managed to see beyond Jack's mask, both physical and metaphorical.
He looked doubtful when Rhys asserted that Jack could trust him, as Rhys explains, that expression softens. Jack doesn't give his trust easily, and that's something that Rhys know better than Jack thinks, but it's almost a physical thing as he gives at least a small piece of it.
That's the thing about Jack, though. There aren't many people that can avoid getting wrapped up in Jack. He has a naturally magnetic personality, and it's what elevated him to the sort of cult-like devotion that was so unique to Hyperion, but even individually, when he's laying here having a moment of openness with another person, it's the same sort of thing. Jack isn't a liar, because every word he says is a truth or something he believes so strongly that it might as well be. He's genuine in a frightening way, because it's so easy to forget that there's so much of Jack that's completely divorced from other parts of him.
So that trust doesn't mean that Rhys is safe. In fact, it's so much more dangerous, and that's why every person that's seen beyond that mask has ended up dead. ]
You-- [ Jack starts to respond once Rhys has said his piece, but it comes with a laugh. ] I mean, to be honest here, you keep surprisin' me, Rhys.
[ Jack pauses, then shifts slightly closer. Usually he'd probably be at least a little more smooth here, but the handcuff and their proximity makes that less than elegant. The hand that's uncuffed at least comes up to Rhys's neck, but that's to help angle both of their heads here. As such, Rhys can probably guess what's coming next here and pull back if he wants, but really, Jack doesn't think that'll be the case, considering Rhys...
He kisses Rhys, and it's both brief and tender rather than the sort of aggressive that might seem to suit Jack better. After all, what Rhys says is bolstering and supporting Jack in ways that he might not have expected to, but also in those ways that aren't exactly good. But it's absolutely what Jack craves and appreciates, and at least for the moment, he thinks that something physical is a better way to convey that than through words.
After all, as he pulls back again, he proves that he's not actually smooth or a wordsmith. ]
Yeah, it's obviously okay with me, dumbass.
holy shit
on some level, rhys is aware of how bad this is, of how quickly it can turn into something that he can't handle -- that's how it always works with jack, right? every story from every person who got even a smidgen close to him. that's why no one really survives jack, not really. rhys though, he's naive and he wants so desperately to believe the lie that when jack moves in to kiss him, he doesn't back off.
his hands curl in jack's shirt, pressing in close to meet his mouth and feeling an odd but satisfying sensation as he feels the brush of the scar against his skin. it's still so cool, being this close to jack and this ... accepted? wanted? by him. rhys feels so jubilant in this moment, more than he's felt since jack smiled at him in his office and told him he was proud of him. this is better, this is a physical thing along with an emotional. it makes rhys feel whole.
when they break apart, rhys lets out a kind of breathy laugh, forehead pressed against jack's and not trying to move away this time. he grins, meeting jack's gaze in response and tries to squash the urge to kiss him again. not... yet, not now, but soon. ]
Nnnnot quite how I expected the night to go, gotta say. Thought you didn't want to make it that gay?
[ he curls closer, taking up more that little amount of space between them. his ankle slides against jack's and he lets out a pleased sigh, feeling... oddly relaxed now. he's accepted it, accepted how bad this is just how much he still wants it. it's fine, he thinks. it's completely fine. ]
Glad you -- [ he pauses, interrupting himself with a yawn and his eyes fall shut for a moment ] Glad you did though. I really like you -- different than the whole admiration thing. Just, y'know, you yourself. I really like that part of you and m'glad you finally believe me. I'll keep, [ another yawn here ] proving it if I have to, Jack.
[ it's said in a sleepy, content tone -- voice a soft mumble because in this moment, rhys is completely happy. surrounded by jack like this and given his affection, rhys doesn't want to be anywhere else in the universe. ]
no subject
[ He gets a little defensive, but not nearly as bad as it could be. Considering he's the one that initiated that part, he can't really deny that it's pretty gay, but he also doesn't actually care too much about that part. Or at least, not as much as he was conveying, since that too is a way for him to keep a bit of distance. Jack keeps very nearly everyone at arm's length, since he has problems trusting people enough for any kind of intimacy. Even now, it's not completely there, not even close, but—
Jack shifts all the same to hold Rhys comfortably in his-- Well, ideally, this would be in his arms, but the cuff makes it a little more awkward. Still. It's close, even intimate, and he doesn't mind that at all. He absolutely prefers the comfort of having someone else sleep next to him, though he'd also never ask for it. And considering the sort of task he's been given here? It's more comforting than he would have expected to feel able to extend even this small bit of trust. It's physical, and even that much is no small matter for Jack.
Though for how he feels, that's something else entirely. Because even now, as he shifts and settles down, he's not sure what that is. It's appreciation for Rhys's admiration and loyalty, but the part Jack isn't aware enough of himself to recognize is that that trust comes more from the fact that Rhys is bolstering his ego and his beliefs. Jack's definitions of trust and betrayal are both very different from everyone else's, since both exist in a very black and white context. Agree with Jack, and he trusts you. Disagree with Jack, and you're a traitor. Both are far simpler than they seem, but that simplicity is part of what made Jack the monster he is.
Unfortunately, that's a harsh truth about Jack that Rhys will rediscover.
But for now, Jack doesn't think on what he feels here. Maybe it's just too late to think on it, which is what he decides on when he catches an infectious yawn. He finally relaxes too and gets them tangled further together to fall asleep. Considering the kiss, there's no need to hide that he's clingy, as if that's a surprise... ]
But, c'mon. Didn't even realize how goddamn little I've been sleeping lately.
[ More than Rhys knows and understands, but he's genuinely too tired to have his paranoia flare up. This is a good thing, since that would absolutely get him to back off. Without it, Jack just closes his eyes, just barely keeping the contact between their foreheads. It's super gay. ]
[ But not as bad as the fact that at some point in the night, they will absolutely end up spooning again and Jack will kiss his neck and mutter something about Nisha sucking his dick. That's canon now. Jack will not remember this, in fact. ]