[ His expression twists up in anger. It's barely any time at all before that new, metal fist swings out and crashes against the mirror. It cracks underneath his fist across the entire surface, and several small pieces fall out to clatter against the counter when he pulls his fist away. He looks furious, and it's the kind of look that would send fear down anyone's spine if they were the one staring at it, but it's only his own, cracked face looking back. ]
No—
[ Jack starts out with a shaky breath, and he laughs. It feels like he's watching himself much more than he's feeling now, and so he sees how his eyes grow glassy until tears spill over. It seems distant, because he doesn't feel it happen at all, but his words grow more vehement. ]
No, no, no, this is not the end. I- I know it.
[ He sounds so certain of himself and so assured, and it gets him to laugh in that way that's worryingly manic. For everything he's learned in the past week, he feels all the more sure of it, but it means that there's a sinister truth underneath it all. So by saying this, he has to accept it. He has to accept that this isn't real in some way. Whatever the truth was, if he accepts that possibility, it closes doors for him. No matter which details make it up, they all end in the same truth, and that's the idea that this ship is a prison that he can't escape. Just like the ECHO drive, he's trapped. And if he's trapped, all his dreams, all of Handsome Jack's dreams will die, because there's no way for him to bring his paradise if there's nothing for him to return to.
It's so much grief all mixed together that he couldn't even say what he's shedding tears for here. It's Elizabeth, it's himself, it's his hopes, because they all mix together in a way that Jack feels he understands. Even so, that grief isn't despair. He laughs, because the grief, the accepting of the possibility that even if he were to do as asked, it might not mean a thing, it's hilarious. It's ironic in a way that feels cruel, but at least in this, he can also realize something else.
Here, he's not alone. ]
It's- It's that friggin' game. They're all-- Liz, Rhys, they're not— If Hancock can send that message, then they have to be somewhere. That data, who they are, it's not-- Just gone.
[ Jack laughs again, shaking his head, and he looks to the shower, or more specifically, the water. ]
I'll find them. I can find them, because Al-- Hey, Al, I know you're listening, because you're always listening, aren't you? You said you strove to know what I know, remember? Qualia, physicality, purpose, all of that bullshit. I'd- I'd give it to you, you know that? You've had every goddamn chance to just take over this body, but no, that's not what you want. You want something else. You want to keep me out. Because-- [ The thought is broken with a laugh ] You know I'll tear this whole fucking ship apart. I'll kill myself to kill you. You know that.
[ He steps back, letting the pieces of the mirror lay where they fall. He just ends up turning his head again to look at himself, but backs up until his back hits the wall. Jack just laughs, the sort of insane cackling that's probably only just barely drowned out by the shower and the music. ]
Aaaliiice... [ His tone is mocking, and unintentionally, it parallels the way that an alien had said her name weeks ago. ] I'm going to find them. I'm going to find out what the fuck is going on here. And then? I'm going to kill you. Even if I die, I don't give a shit. I'll wipe every fucking bit of your existence out. I'll break your sentience while you beg for me to stop. That's-- That is what a goddamn hero does.
[ His tone is harsh and raw, but it breaks into more laughter as Jack just slowly sinks to sit on the tile of the floor. He ends up sighing out a noise of exhaustion as the laughter finally dies down and those tears of frustration and grief start to slow, but he looks up at the ceiling again. This time, his voice is quiet, almost a murmur. ]
I'll save them. I'll save... all of them. Even if they have to die first, it's-- just data.
no subject
No—
[ Jack starts out with a shaky breath, and he laughs. It feels like he's watching himself much more than he's feeling now, and so he sees how his eyes grow glassy until tears spill over. It seems distant, because he doesn't feel it happen at all, but his words grow more vehement. ]
No, no, no, this is not the end. I- I know it.
[ He sounds so certain of himself and so assured, and it gets him to laugh in that way that's worryingly manic. For everything he's learned in the past week, he feels all the more sure of it, but it means that there's a sinister truth underneath it all. So by saying this, he has to accept it. He has to accept that this isn't real in some way. Whatever the truth was, if he accepts that possibility, it closes doors for him. No matter which details make it up, they all end in the same truth, and that's the idea that this ship is a prison that he can't escape. Just like the ECHO drive, he's trapped. And if he's trapped, all his dreams, all of Handsome Jack's dreams will die, because there's no way for him to bring his paradise if there's nothing for him to return to.
It's so much grief all mixed together that he couldn't even say what he's shedding tears for here. It's Elizabeth, it's himself, it's his hopes, because they all mix together in a way that Jack feels he understands. Even so, that grief isn't despair. He laughs, because the grief, the accepting of the possibility that even if he were to do as asked, it might not mean a thing, it's hilarious. It's ironic in a way that feels cruel, but at least in this, he can also realize something else.
Here, he's not alone. ]
It's- It's that friggin' game. They're all-- Liz, Rhys, they're not— If Hancock can send that message, then they have to be somewhere. That data, who they are, it's not-- Just gone.
[ Jack laughs again, shaking his head, and he looks to the shower, or more specifically, the water. ]
I'll find them. I can find them, because Al-- Hey, Al, I know you're listening, because you're always listening, aren't you? You said you strove to know what I know, remember? Qualia, physicality, purpose, all of that bullshit. I'd- I'd give it to you, you know that? You've had every goddamn chance to just take over this body, but no, that's not what you want. You want something else. You want to keep me out. Because-- [ The thought is broken with a laugh ] You know I'll tear this whole fucking ship apart. I'll kill myself to kill you. You know that.
[ He steps back, letting the pieces of the mirror lay where they fall. He just ends up turning his head again to look at himself, but backs up until his back hits the wall. Jack just laughs, the sort of insane cackling that's probably only just barely drowned out by the shower and the music. ]
Aaaliiice... [ His tone is mocking, and unintentionally, it parallels the way that an alien had said her name weeks ago. ] I'm going to find them. I'm going to find out what the fuck is going on here. And then? I'm going to kill you. Even if I die, I don't give a shit. I'll wipe every fucking bit of your existence out. I'll break your sentience while you beg for me to stop. That's-- That is what a goddamn hero does.
[ His tone is harsh and raw, but it breaks into more laughter as Jack just slowly sinks to sit on the tile of the floor. He ends up sighing out a noise of exhaustion as the laughter finally dies down and those tears of frustration and grief start to slow, but he looks up at the ceiling again. This time, his voice is quiet, almost a murmur. ]
I'll save them. I'll save... all of them. Even if they have to die first, it's-- just data.