[ for a moment, rhys thinks he made a mistake. it was just something that came out of him, without really thinking. he sort of... forgets, which is pretty obvious by now, that jack isn't just a morally dubious dude but actually one of the worst human beings in a century. it makes him slip and say things like "you can kill people and still have feelings" which... he will admit, is his own over-identifying of the situation.
he's killed people. he feels things.
right now, he feels a slight fear run up his spine at the thought he may have made a mistake here -- but also a curiosity, a genuine feeling of affection for jack. he wonders how much work it must take to put on such an image, wonders how much of what rhys knows about him is the image and how much isn't. it... makes rhys feel ill for a moment, like all this time he'd been pursuing a closeness with handsome jack instead of ... jack. or john.
... was he? was he really so shallow? ]
You can trust me.
[ his instincts are there, screaming at him with each word, telling him to go back, to leave this bed and try his very best to put more distance between jack and him. this isn't keeping jack happy so he doesn't kill rhys anymore, this is rhys wanting to make up for what happened -- this is rhys wanting to rewrite history. maybe here he could have jack like he wanted to so badly at home? maybe here, helios won't have to happen again? ]
And I'm sorry too. I guess I never really thought about all the effort you put into what you put out there? It always just seemed so you -- like there was nothing else but what you wanted everyone to see and I don't know. [ he shrugs a little helplessly, looking down towards their hands with a slight frown. ] I guess I thought that was pretty cool.
[ then he's silent for a moment, as if that's all he's got to say to jack here -- that he was shallow and saw nothing else but, after a moment, he shakes his head and does something pretty weird. he... smiles at jack, a small one, genuine and soft as he looks at jack. the room is dark, just barely enough light from rhys' eye and the ship outside of the room to show the reflection of each other's faces. rhys' hair falls in his face and over the pillow but he doesn't bother to brush it out, to push it back, instead he just enjoys the warmth radiating off of jack as he speaks again. ]
... But I think I like this Jack better? I know the logic, Jack. I'm not a dumbass. You have things you want to protect, to keep safe from ... everything else, so why would you let the world know who else you are under the mask? Uh, both literally and figuratively. People suck, the whole universe sucks. There's only like, a few people out there who are decent at all so... why does everyone else get to see you? Fuck that. But -- but this Jack -- the one I've met over the past few weeks, the one I'm laying here with right now? He's way cooler, I think, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him more.
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he's killed people. he feels things.
right now, he feels a slight fear run up his spine at the thought he may have made a mistake here -- but also a curiosity, a genuine feeling of affection for jack. he wonders how much work it must take to put on such an image, wonders how much of what rhys knows about him is the image and how much isn't. it... makes rhys feel ill for a moment, like all this time he'd been pursuing a closeness with handsome jack instead of ... jack. or john.
... was he? was he really so shallow? ]
You can trust me.
[ his instincts are there, screaming at him with each word, telling him to go back, to leave this bed and try his very best to put more distance between jack and him. this isn't keeping jack happy so he doesn't kill rhys anymore, this is rhys wanting to make up for what happened -- this is rhys wanting to rewrite history. maybe here he could have jack like he wanted to so badly at home? maybe here, helios won't have to happen again? ]
And I'm sorry too. I guess I never really thought about all the effort you put into what you put out there? It always just seemed so you -- like there was nothing else but what you wanted everyone to see and I don't know. [ he shrugs a little helplessly, looking down towards their hands with a slight frown. ] I guess I thought that was pretty cool.
[ then he's silent for a moment, as if that's all he's got to say to jack here -- that he was shallow and saw nothing else but, after a moment, he shakes his head and does something pretty weird. he... smiles at jack, a small one, genuine and soft as he looks at jack. the room is dark, just barely enough light from rhys' eye and the ship outside of the room to show the reflection of each other's faces. rhys' hair falls in his face and over the pillow but he doesn't bother to brush it out, to push it back, instead he just enjoys the warmth radiating off of jack as he speaks again. ]
... But I think I like this Jack better? I know the logic, Jack. I'm not a dumbass. You have things you want to protect, to keep safe from ... everything else, so why would you let the world know who else you are under the mask? Uh, both literally and figuratively. People suck, the whole universe sucks. There's only like, a few people out there who are decent at all so... why does everyone else get to see you? Fuck that. But -- but this Jack -- the one I've met over the past few weeks, the one I'm laying here with right now? He's way cooler, I think, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him more.
[ and then he turns sheepish for a moment. ]
I mean, uh, if that's okay with you and all.